Ruined Again

By JoCo September 15, 2008

The rumors and the gossip: all true. On Friday I became a father for a second time, and since then have been living in a haze of fragmented sleep, visits from extended family, and teeny tiny diapers. It’s a boy – he’s very small, put together like a wrinkly old man, and looks extremely concerned about something most of the time. Everybody’s happy and healthy. He’s really good at Rockband.

I’m not exactly sure what kind of paternity leave is going to happen, it’s always hard to really create time off when you don’t go anywhere for work. But for the next few weeks at least I’m going to do my best to take it easy and spend time with the family. No shows are scheduled till the end of October and it’s likely to stay that way. I will probably still twitter and blog because neither of those things really feels like work anymore, but if I’m a little slow getting back to you about stuff I hope you’ll understand.

The exception to all this is the Obama benefit comedy night I’m playing this very evening, The Audacity of Jokes, which was scheduled before this baby was supposed to arrive. This either makes me a dedicated professional or an irresponsible father. But hey, three days was good enough for Sarah Palin, right?


Jim says


Encubed says

Many congratulations to you and your family! Hopefully this doesn't inspire you to leave musicianship and start another career you've been dreaming about (like woodworking, or something).

CC says

Very nice! Congrats to you and your family and glad to hear all is well.

Jason Morris says

Congrats, Jonathan!

Be careful changing baby boy the diapers....
They can fire without warning.

Katie C says

Congratulations! That is very, very exciting! :)

Roman V. says

As I said before congratulations to you and the whole Coulton family. I assume you aren't related to any of the no-u "Colton"'s including the likes of Scott Colton, apparently a professional wrestler and apparently Jewish - neither of which you are, I assume.

If my opinion mattered on the subject, I would say blogging is still work, while twittering, which is minimal blogging is still ok, assuming you have an actual keyboard, and aren't like text messaging them. Actually, I take that back - I know some people who can text message with quite a large amount of proficiency.....

But I digress.

Congratulations, again.

Linus Torvalds, the original creator of the Linux kernel famously said "Talk is cheap, show me the code." well in that same vain I say, uhh... "Photos?" I mean if you want, obviously. No one would want to pressure you to do something you wouldn't have done normally........


Melanie1001 says

Big Congrats to you sir! That's wonderful news! *hugs* to your whole family!

buschap says

Congratulations. I'm sure he will soon have more stuffed animals than you can imagine.

Mark Gordon says


Lex says

All I can say is congrats!

Just don't get your baby high :)

Gilly says

Congratulations! I hope you're planning to make onesies of the new tour shirts for him...

Gle3nn says

Congrats on JoCo2.0

Jonathan Fesmire says

Congratulations, Jonathan! Fatherhood is great the 2nd time, too!

My baby son Clark (8 months old) says:

vb ccf df dfrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

Laura Bee says

Oh, congratulations!! That's lovely news!!

Lito says

Congrats, man! I've got three boys of my own, and I tell you, then only thing better than the birth of your first child is the second and third (if you dare!!!).

Greg says


Joel says

Félicitations! Health and Happiness to you and your family.
May you each find what you are looking for.

Ed says

Congratulations, and my deepest sympathies! ;)

M_pony says

Whoohoo! How awesome for you, daddy-o! :) I may have done research into reproduction, but you have the practical applications down to a science ;)

Adri says

Congrats! :D :D :D

photosinensis says

Awesome, man! May the child live long and prosper.

Richard Heimbrock says

Congratulations! Enjoy as much time with your expanding family as you can!

Susie the Southern Geek says

Huge congrats and all the geek love in the world! I highly recommend having the girl first and the boy second, as that is what happened to me (like I could control it!) and know you will be in a haze of sleep-deprived bliss-agony for quite a while.

Please let Mrs. Coulton know we are thinking about her at our house too, and hope she and the little guy are doing well!

Hugs and kisses from Susie & the geeklings

Jack says

Congrats dude! Wish I could go to the Dublin gig!



Andy Baio says

Congratulations! I want to hear a lullaby version of "Re: Your Brains" next.

MitchO says

Congratulations to you and Mrs. JoCo!

meagneato says


Sharp says

2x combo! Gratz!

Andrew Appel-KC says

Congrats. on the growing family. I was skeptical when I first met Dr. Martin, but you can't argue with success.

Rob L. says

Congrats JoCo and (now-bigger) family!

@ Andy Baio, holy cow, your comment was weird to read... just *yesterday* for laughs I sat down and played a soft fingerpicked take on that tune, though I thought of it as "Re: Your Brains, the Iron & Wine version" rather than a lullaby.

Mary says

Congrats on the 2.1 spawn update!

Jutze says

All the best to the whole family. And maybe Paul and Storm's rendition of "A better version of you" the next time you play a show with them. ;-)

Action Ben says


Angelastic says

Congratulations indeed! And I second Lex's comment (don't even wash it with opium soap.)

Encubed, I think we decided that only applied to having daughters, so Jeff MacDougall has to become a full-time musician, but JoCo doesn't have to become a sand sculptor. :)

blackic says

Oh, awesome! Many congratulations! x

MarcyT says

Lovely news....congrats and all that goes with it!! :)

Lynette {Radio} says

Wishing you clean diapers and lots of sleep! -- Lynette / NJ

Andy says

Rock out, JoCo! Congrats!

"You Ruined Everything" is still one of my favs of yours, so I look forward to the hopefully eventual song written for this newest member of your family.

Annie says

Congratulations to Mr. Coulton and family!

Joran says

Congrats! Your first child obviously must be going through a rather abrupt upheaval. To ease his/her concerns, Paul and Storm have a great song to explain the transition: "A Better Version of You".

Jade says

Oh my! I didn't even know your wife was pregnant! Congrats Jonathan, and tell your wife to take it easy :)

Jade says

Also, out of curiosity, what is his name?

Nils says

Congratulations! And: Who needs sleep? It's totaly overrated...

Jmonkee says

Congrats to JoCo & wife!

mymatedave says

Congrats on the kidlet, now you can look forward to no sleep, anxiety and more stress than is healthy all over again.

Andrea says

HOORAY! Congrats!

I bet Big Sister needs her own version of "You Ruined Everything" now. :D

Betsy says


I'll play "A Better Version of You" by P&S tonight! :)

Haplo says

Add another one to the congratulations from all of us here at Radio KoL :)

Mr. Jacobson, Esquire says

You going to write a sequel song?
Both kids need their own song now... :P

twinschick1 says

Congrats! :)

Mark Hall says

Congratulations on spawning again!

Nicolas Ward says

Congratulations on the bouncing baby boy!

vagabondmonk says

congrats!!!!!! :)

Dave Lifton says


Jacob says

Congrats! Best wishes.

The fatal robot wishes you all the best too.

HellZiggy says

Congratulations to you and Mrs. Coulton!!!
This is a valid excuse for not coming back to Mpls in the near future! :)


Super Dave says

Congrats! Just make sure the new one picks up guitar ASAP. :)

Tindomiel says

Congrats! Are you going to commemorate this wonderful event with another song? ;)

Demetrius says

Congratulations! Papa Coulton!!!

Ruaidrí says

Congratulations JoCo, good luck with the new kid and all.

Becky says


rozwarren says

Mazel tov!!

Sprocket says

Congrats! That's wonderful.

Where do we send the flowers? :P

Percephene says

Squee! Many congratulations to the Coulton family! How very exciting!!! ^_^
I hope you have one of the Re Your Brains bibs or onesies for him!

Very best wishes to you all! It's lovely that you can be around and take some time out from your rigorous life of Internet Superstardom to enjoy this time with your new bundle of joy!!!

And may I say squee again!!! ^_^

Jill D. says

Congratulations! :)

Trevin says


merrg says

awww, congrats =)

Tad says

Welcome JoCo Jr.! Your dad rocks! :)

If it helps to know this, number two was the most difficult adjustment. Any that come after this, it's just another plate at the table. (In a good way, of course.)

Steve Whitaker says

Congratulations! Two's a magic number. Wishing you all the best.

elliomeg says

Congratulations! Enjoy the teeny-tiny fall-asleep-on-your-chest stage while you can.

(As you've already rebuilt yourself once, you'll notice that the upgrade to 2.1 is easier than 2.0 but the sleep deprivation is worse the second time around (after all you've likely been shortchanged for the better part of the past 3 yearzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....)

Jenn says

Congrats. :)

weemanjoe says

congrats... and good luck!

Keith says

Congratulations! And also, please extend congratulations to Dr. Martin, would you?

derzafanistori says

Congrats! :-D

obfuscatedfembot says

congratulations!!!!! glad to see the robots are increasing in numbers...

Jim Offerman says

Congratulations! You brave, brave man... ;)

J says

Congratulations, Jonathan and Mrs. Jonathan; --and best wishes!

Please post a baby pic when you have a moment!

Liza LS says

Welcome, little one!

And congrats to the whole family - especially your little girl who is now a big sister :)


Jeff O'Connor says

Congratulations on being a father again!

But, um, does your wife know yet?!

franko says

your kids have big shoes to fill, and i wish you and yours all the best in the world.

Alex Guichet says


whall says

I can only assume he ruined everything... in the nicest way....

de-do,d0oo-de-dum, do-de-dum, do-de-dum, do.

Oh, and please wait to feed him the J'obama koolaid until he's at least walking age.

Scarybug says


Richie says

If you had waited one more day we could have shared a birthday, haha

Gina says


Cambiata says

Yesssssss, we are one step closer to a world of Coultons. Congrats on the baby!

Martyn says


Hepcat says

Aw, great news! Congratulations!

Alan says

Sweet!!! Congrats to you and the rest of the fam!!

Shell says

Congrats on the new little one!!! You're now *officially* a parent. You only get "parent" credit with *two* or more because now the REAL parenting begins. Before you always KNEW who put Elmo in the toilet. Now you'll have to be a detective, mediator, and spy. :o)

Shell (mom to 3 boys and a girl)

LaDeDa says

My best wishes to you and your family! Did you have to pay off your daughter with a ridiculously extravagant gift like we did when our 2nd son was born? (as though a new brother isn't enough, sheesh!)

OZ says

Congratulations!! I'm a few weeks away from the arrival of my own wrinkly, tiny human. Dr. Martin does good work indeed. Thanks for referring him!

Luke M says


Paul R. Potts says

Wow, I'm slow and behind the curve, as usual, but Congratulations from our family to yours!

Soon you'll be needing a minivan. And you'll have to write a song about that.

Brie says

Whoa! Major congrats, JoCo.

Thomas says

Congratulations, sir.

Melanie says

Still snickering at JoCo 2.0. CLEVER.

Congratulations, and I am envious. In an I'm-really-glad-I-don't-have-a-baby-again-but-babies-are-neat kind of way.

Jonnie says

Many many congratulations, Jon. Nice work!

Jason C. Brand says


Also, congrats.

Dr. Perry Cox says

+1 congratulations

I know you want to keep your family out of things as much as possible, but it would be nice if you told us your children's (and your wife's) names. It's always "my wife" or "my daughter" and (now, probably) "my son." Just seems a bit impersonal. Would be nice to be able to put as

Dr. Perry Cox says

+1 congratulations

I know you want to keep your family out of things as much as possible, but it would be nice if you told us your children's (and your wife's) names. It's always "my wife" or "my daughter" and (now, probably) "my son." Just seems a bit impersonal. Would be nice to be able to put a name to an identification.

Liz says


Neil says

Wow, congradulations! That's awesome, man!

casual fan says

huh. i had apparently not web stalked you properly. congratulations on: your new son, your first child, and your marriage or at least somewhat serious relationship.

casual fan says

...also congratulations on your losing your virginity, your adolescence, learning to walk & speak, and your birth.

man, i should really pay closer attention!

aFan says

Re: JoCo 2.0

I was thinking 2.2
or perhaps 2.1.1 ?

whatever. congrats.

TheFifthSister says

Congratuations! Pleased to hear everyone is happy and healthy!

Athene says

Mazel Tov!

Ferenc says


Also do you realize how many comments there are here compared to the last post? Well now all you need to know when you're hungry for comments is to mention is Coulton Junior(s).

Doug says

Grats, Jonathan. I wish you all the very best. =]

Palad says

Congrats, man! (and give your wife an atta-girl, as well!)

Deuce says

Congratulations Jonathan! I give you my best wishes as well; take all the time off you need.

jonas3333 says

So happy to hear of your newest creation! I wish a full and entertaining life for you and all your family! Hope he gets your creativity and your hair. :)
I say take the whole year off if you want - family comes first. Plus, I know you'd have tons of inspiration after that anyway.
So, dunno if it's proper to ask, but what's his name!?!

Christopher Hawley says

Congratulations to your spouse and you on successful delivery of project Coulton:TNG.2!

Christopher Hawley says

Re order of mention in previous:
"Maternity is a matter of fact; paternity is a matter of opinion."

Just saying.
Well done to both of you!

Joel says


Ed says

Hey man, congrats on your child :D

Ladidragon says

Grats man! Take a good long leave ;)

Steeljack says


Methinks that going through with your "The Audacity of Jokes" performance makes you neither dedicated professional nor irresponsible father: but something better than either: dedicated father. Doing what you can to bring about a better country for your newest arrival to grow up in.

Grant Fitch says

Congratulations to you and your wife on being ruined again!

Prisca says

Congratulations on your newest little addition! I've got a couple of little ones myself (all girls so far, but I'm in the process of growing another one to make his/her debut this coming spring).

Hope you have plenty of time to enjoy that tiny baby phase while it lasts. :)

PJ says

Mazel Tov!

Botmon says

Congratulations, but you left out his name and JoCo 2.0 gets old fast.

Kate says

Congratulations all round!

Chris Hartzog says

Congratulations to you and your wife! Did you give him a name?

Terisa says

Man you weren't even showing last time I saw you. I bet you get your girlish figure back in no time.

GaragesSpin says

Wow, CONGRATS, Jonathan!! That's such great news. Best to you and your growing family. :)

Cytherea says

Many, many congratulations!! That's wonderful news.

Also -- you did an Obama benefit???? My respect for you has somehow, impossibly, gotten higher. Seriously, dude, I didn't know there was a "higher" to go to!

Martin Kingsley says

Whee, bravo and congratulations from Australia.

Rob L. says

OK, Andy Baio's wish was my command: Re: Your Brains, The Lullaby.

Seth says

Congrats to you and me. Always glad when it isn't mine.

Crickett says


So, does he have his own monkey butler yet? :-)

Carmen says

Very cute, Rob! I think you may need to talk to your short colleague about upstaging, though. =D

Suzi says

Congratulations Jonathan (and family)!!!!
Post baby pics?

simbelmyne says

My kids want your kids to know that their dad writes funny funny stuff!

Liz says

Congratulations to you and your family, Jonathan!! We'll be here!

Kyle Laserdog says

Well wishes to the whole family.

And I just wanted to again thank you for your song "You Ruined Everything".

It was the most accurate portrayal of the mixed feelings involved in having your first kid that I encountered in all my studies.

Paul W. says

Either I haven't been following the blog closely enough, or this came completely out of the blue. Holy unexpectedness, Batman!

Congrats, and here's hoping that your wife and JoCoJunior are both doing fine!

Kat says

Wow, Fantastic!! Congrats!

I join your other fans in clamoring for celebrity baby pictures. Although we will not fault you for waiting till after the little one has uncrumpled a bit :D

Sujin says

Wow, congratulations to the whole family! "A Better Version of You" should explain the situation to the older girl quite nicely.

MjStrwy says

Congratulations, and best wishes for you and your growing family, Jonathan!

Now, when do tickets for Dr. Coulton's 100% Natural Good Time Family Band Solution go on sale?

Meg says

Many congratulations to you and your family :)

Kris says

Congratulations John!

Matt says

Congrats! My wife and I are expecting our first in January...a girl.

We're really happy...and I'm terrified out of my mind.

Jonas R.M says

Congratulations to you and your family ;D
" And they lived happily ever after " =)

Lhyzz says

Congrats! I'm sure he'll be writing songs about zombies and dinosaurs in no time.

Super-Toad says

Congrats, man! What about the name? :D

Peter G. says

Wonderful news! Enjoy the time when they're this little and can't break your stuff yet. :)

Obama? I figured since you are smart you'd be a McCain man. Having kids will make you more conservitive. I have four and am part of the vast rightwinged conspiracy now.

Preston M. says

Major congratulations man! Lucky kid, who could ask for a better role model? :)

Brett M. says

Congrats are in order! Now the fun begins anew ;)

Jessica D says

Congrats on little number 2. Very cool. My husband and I are debating that very subject right now and probably will be until I actually go off the pill :)

So thought I would see if you want to play my 2 year old birthday party in January. You can bring the whole family to Chicago for a little vacation. It would be a blast. Trust me, we aren't crazy, just fans. Well, maybe we are a littel crazy.

Congrats again - Jess

berty says

congratulations coultons one and all !

LilD says

Congratulations!I wish you and your family helth,luck in life as in your career and lots and lots of love!

test123ok says

nice! more Coultons in this world... definitely a great thing... keep it coming ;)