Reply To: [TW: rape] Helping Sea Monkeys with triggers (at karaoke and otherwise), was: JCCC4 Post-Mortem
I don’t have any triggers, or even know anyone who does. But things are getting personal in here, and I’d like to try to offer some perspective to both sides of this conversation.
I have a family member who has a potentially fatal nut allergy. If he eats a peanut, or even part of a peanut, and the epi-pen is out of reach, he may very well die. This makes my family very, very conscious of what kinds of food is around. We’re sort of paranoid about it. It’s always on our minds. Always.
Most people we come across, family, friends, coworkers, etc. don’t understand what it’s like to live with that constant worry. Most people don’t understand why this family member can’t try the food they made for us. They don’t understand the seriousness of this issue for our family. “It doesn’t have nuts” or “pick out the nuts” are some things we’ve heard. Well, that’s not good enough to guarantee we’ll stay out of the ER.
Before food allergies shouldered their way into my life, I was among the masses who mocks schools for banning peanut butter. Now, I understand that it may be warranted to provide a safe space for kids to eat lunch.
Like I said, I don’t have any experiences with triggers. But my experience with food allergies has given me some empathy for both sides of this conversation. Those who have not experienced or seen or lived with someone who has these visceral reactions may not understand the severity of the reaction, the horrifying effects of what may seem merely creepy, or even benign, to another listener. For those that live with it, it’s always close by.
I don’t think there’s any malice on either side of this debate. My virtual interactions with all you nice people have been overwhelmingly positive. I think that any difficulties here are more likely caused by misunderstandings or a simple lack of information. A lack of experience.
I don’t really have a direct stake in JCCC karaoke song choice (I’m likely to stay on land for the next n+1 JCCC), but I think we all might do well to take a deep breath and try to understand the other side.