Reply To: [TW: rape] Helping Sea Monkeys with triggers (at karaoke and otherwise), was: JCCC4 Post-Mortem
@SapphireMind I empathize with your feelings of crucifixion in this discussion. I have first hand experience in being confronted with the reality that I’ve deeply hurt people through actions I never would have imagined harmful. I know how much that hurts and how strong the desire can be to make sure that my intentions are taken into consideration. But I have also seen how that continues to wound people I care about because it prevents me from truly acknowledging their pain in favor of my own.
You are not a monster. In fact, I applaud you for staying involved in a discussion where you feel tarred as “the bad guy” without making personal attacks. Clearly, to me, you do care. But I think you’ve missed what is behind the request to ban songs because of your fear of being called out in the future.
I think this whole discussion may have started off on the wrong foot and instead of looking for how we can take care of each other we’ve been trying to protect ourselves – either from future triggers (including those caused by comments) or from condemnation. I hope we can all take a moment as some have suggested and remind ourselves that we are a community and that if we’re going to remain a community we need to presume the best in each other. That means that when we are hurt, we assume that harm was unintentional and when we are told that community actions have harmed people, we assume that the intent of the declaration is a call for compassion not public crucifixion. Otherwise we spend our time defending ourselves instead of growing as a community.