Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

By JoCo July 17, 2012

Yesterday I picked up a package that was waiting for me at my post office box. It did not have an address label on it, and it came from JFK via freight. I was intrigued.

Inside the cardboard box was a nailed-shut wooden crate with this on the top:

and this on the side:


I waited till the end of the day so my kids could watch me open it, because what kid would not want to open a mysterious package that came from a cemetery? Inside was a layer of moss with a tiny shovel. Beneath the moss was green dirt, and buried in the green dirt was a coffin, along with a headstone and some chains. Like you do:

I confess I was just a TINY bit concerned I was going to find a human hand in there or something. But it was not a human hand. It was this guy:

The scroll explains that he is Eben Hardwick, undead person and movie extra. He’s a silicone zombie with posable limbs from the movie Paranorman, and the kind people at Laika (who also made Coraline) sent him to me. Because, you know, zombies.

I have never received something something so fantastic in the mail in all my life. And I know a little something about special boxes that contain special things (what’s up level 4!), so I can tell you that this particular special box is just plain amazing. I am extremely flattered that they would think to send me such a thing.

Which is why I have no qualms at all about saying that you should all go see Paranorman when it comes out in August, because I’m going to, and not only because I want to see if I can spot my guy. As you will know if you have seen Coraline, these people do great work. Plus they sent me a silicone zombie in a coffin. You should also check out weirdwins.com, where there is a lot of cool behind the scenes stuff from the people who worked on the film.

Eben says hi:


Eddie Hyland says

I wish someone would send something so awesome to me in the mail!

MarcyT says

Saw the preview for the movie when we went to see Ice Age on Saturday. It looks really good and we already decided we need to see it when it's out! You got a great gift!

Franko says

so, what did the KIDS think?

i would *love* to receive something so cool in the mail!

ajollynerd says

I thought for a second it was going to be a wooden box with a tarnished key (bearing your initials) containing a creepy doll with a ruined eye and a pretty mouth.

You know…

…like in the song.


AGMLego says

Does all he want to do is eat your brains?

Kate says

Heeeey-OHH, Level Four!

Marshall says

Excellent gift! Just be careful about opening any gifts in front of the children that might be "First of May" inspired. Other JoCo songs that may result in choice or less-than-desirable inspired gifts:

- The Town Crotch
- Big Dick Farts a Polka
- Dissolve
- That Spells DNA
- The Stache
- Lady Aberlin's Muumuu
- Furry Old Lobster (although good if it's lobster, bad if it's old and furry)

On the other hand, hopefully somebody at Maserati enjoys "Drive".

Perstephanie says

He doesn't *look* unreasonable...

pie says

omg ajollynerd! that is what i hoped as well!

Gosta says

Thanks a lot, dude. The first thing I tell people about Coulton music is how smart and clever the songs and lyrics are, and now this. I have to get back to all those peeps and tell 'em I was wrong. I mean, seriously, allowing a emmer effin ZOMBIE into your house from the mail??? Have you not seen ANY of the Chuckie documentaries? Or Troy? Sheesh.

Rebecca says

Wow, awesome. Did he leave his contact info inside?
I'd love to have it.

Roy says

How cool is that?!?

You're in good company. Neil Gaiman tweeted he was sent one also.

I'll be looking for your guy in the movie.

AverageJon says

something secret, something precious and rare,

Flinx says

Ok, that is the coolest thing ever. Let's hear it for Random Acts of Kindness.