Artificial Heart Bundles – LAST CHANCE

By JoCo September 30, 2011

Guys, guys! Thank you so much for your overwhelming support with these Artificial Heart bundles. You’ve exceeded my expectations, as usual, and I am as grateful as a boy could be. Some news on this front:

I’m closing sales on all levels this Wednesday at midnight. At the same time I’ll be moving Artificial Heart to the standard store page here on my site. I don’t want any sad people to find out about these fantastic bundle purchase opportunities only after they’re gone, so if there’s anyone you know who should purchase these things, let them know that time is running out. Inevitably, and in spite of your best efforts, someone will tweet at 12:01 AM Thursday morning “OMG! I missed out! I wish I had known!” It’s just how these things go.

The album should now be available in most digital online stores, though I’m getting reports that the title is misspelled in a few places. Which is fantastic news! Gah! If you can’t find it in your favorite digital music store, you may want to search for Jonathan Coulton and then click on the album “Artifical Heart” [sic]. Jeepers creepers people.

For those of you who have purchased a bundle and have questions about shirt sizes, address changes, upgrades and the like, in theory Scarface should have gotten back to you via email. If not, let us know. We’re planning on giving everyone a chance to confirm shipping address and shirt sizes before we mail these things out. I’m choosing a shirt brand this coming week (it’s likely to be similar to American Apparel in fit and quality) and will let everyone know what that is and post sizing charts before asking you to reconfirm your size choices. You’ll be allowed to choose different sizes for different shirts. I don’t want any unhappy customers.

The Level Four box is going to be awesome. It will contain some surprise items. It will be a classy collectors edition type situation and you will be the envy of all your friends if you have one. I don’t have a timeline yet, but will let you know as soon as I have a likely ship date. In the meantime, you Level Four folks will soon have access to other fun stuff that is not in the box. We will entertain ourselves while we wait.

Speaking of which, has anyone figured out what all the symbols mean yet? Because I have.


Tegan says

Gah! The symbols! I kept trying to figure them out during the concert I bought the CD at, but haven't looked at them since.

Aiden S says

No! i don't get the symbols, but i know what symbols represent myself and my nemesis (you git) but my guess is that they will have something to do with one of the T-shirts.

Rev. Back It On Up 13 says

Nothing is going to stop me from buying the biggest, most bundled bundle you can offer. The Big Bundle is a bargain at twice the price. Plus I've always wanted a nemesis. All I've got now is disgruntled acquaintances.

Andrew T. Coleman says

So the symbols do mean something... :/

Marshall says

I translated one batch of symbols to "Jonathan Coulton is a cheeky bastard who likes to boast about his knowledge of symbols and tease people by dangling hints of bonus-y goodness". Did anyone else find that phrase?

Jake says

I bought Level Four at work and didn't see anything about accessing my results again so I didn't think anything of it. Now I have to seek them out...

Lasaracl says

I'm going to let my friend figure it out.. he's good at this stuff. like, figuring out Valve's puzzles good.

rozwarren says

I'm just in it for the cool T shirts. Don't care about symbols. (And on another topic thanks for the awesome Philly show last night. Short but very sweet.)

Rev. Back It On Up 13 says

I did it! I got the whole package. Everything. Now I am unstoppable. I don't even care what the symbols mean. They don't change me. I am this way.

Jazzy Josh says

Which one of you is my nemesis?

Matt D'Angeli says

I guess the emails weren't sent yet, but thanks for the awesome show on Friday night! I was trying to get a short interview for my radio show and a newspaper article, but your family and friends were all there. So naturally, I spoke with Paul Sabourin and your bassist and drummer instead!

I was also wondering what happened to Marty Beller being your drummer! He drummed for you at WCL on Jan 26, but is he with TMBG now?

SRDownie says

Definitive symbol interpretation:
"Eat a donut at noon while bowling and I'll flag you for diamonds."

SRDownie says

P.S. Bonus puzzle interpretation - "Mathematica vos facěre" is Marilyn vos Savant's illegitimate homunculus.

Tam Chronin says

The symbols and a puzzle to me, but I was half asleep when I ordered. *Can* we find our results again? I really feel like I'm missing out. I want to know! I've always wanted an honest-to-goodness nemesis.

Can't wait to get the goodies! I haven't been able to stop listening to the album over and over and over. I'm nearly convinced the album all by itself is worth the Level Four package. Honestly, everything else is gravy. :D

Another Josh says

As someone who recently started on the cyborg path with a pacemaker (not quite an artificial heart, but close), I felt I had to go Level Four on this one. Now I'm just left with trying to figure out if I should seek out or avoid my nemesis.

Paul Turnbull says

Do we know if Canadians have to deal with brokerage charges in addition to shipping or is that handled. I kinda really want the Big Package of Everything.

Matt Burt says

Man, times like these make me wish I'd decided to get a job instead of student loans. Looks like the digital option's for me!

Rachael says

"Do we know if Canadians have to deal with brokerage charges in addition to shipping or is that handled. I kinda really want the Big Package of Everything."

The "Im in Australia" version of the above question.

Marshall says

Yuck, I didn't really think about brokerage charges at the border. Ah well...

Chris says

does the big bundle contain any hats? and if so, are they quite fancy hats? just a concern from a TF2 fan.

Adam says

"Illegitimate Homunculus" is the name of my Jonathan Coulton cover band

Paul Turnbull says

Damn, going to risk it!

SRDownie says

Since you mentioned [the Level Four box] "will be a classy collectors edition type situation and you will be the envy of all your friends if you have one," and since I fell for the Level Four ploy, could you please send a friend along so that my box may be properly envied?

I'm so lonely.

Final question: Will your inevitable, eventual Level Forty Two box contain your cover of "Something About You"?

Gregg Cabe Bond says

I am happy to oblige to be anyone's eFriend, we can be Level 4 buddies! Unless you have been assigned as my nemesis, in which case prepare to be mocked mercilessly!

elliomeg says

So, um, yeah. Symbols.

Rachael says

"The symbols and a puzzle to me, but I was half asleep when I ordered. *Can* we find our results again? Aaahhh…now I really feel like I’m missing out. I want to know! I’ve always wanted an honest-to-goodness nemesis."

Me too.