Three Mysteries, Solved

ByJoCo April 9, 2009

Where the hell is Jonathan Coulton

1. Millionaire Matchmaker – you were not imagining it, the bachelor named Alex sang “Soft Rocked By Me” on the Bravo show Millionaire Matchmaker. They did get permission from me before doing this, and the last time I was in Vegas Alex even took me out to a delicious Thai lunch to thank me. It was my first lunch date with a millionaire. Hopefully not my last – AM I RIGHT?!

2. Ernie Wade – April Fools! You all know that by now, and most of you knew it pretty early on. I meant to juice up a little more doubt and controversy, but when it came down to it I couldn’t keep a straight face. Also there were enough people in on the joke tweeting and blogging about it that I enjoyed watching it all unfold. In case you missed it, the idea took shape in Vegas (erm, I guess there are a lot of things that do NOT stay in Vegas) when I was at the New Media Expo playing the Coverville 500 concert. At the table were me, Len, Patrick and Tom, and I hope nobody else that I’m forgetting because I’m an insensitive jerk. We thought it would be funny to manufacture a scandal in which it is discovered that all my songs are stolen. Because he is crazy, Tom actually followed through and created a site and recorded a couple of songs: Code Monkey and Warrior Robot Revenge. Say want you want about these kinds of April Fools Day pranks, but there are some really nice touches on the site, in the photos, the cassette labels, and especially in the songs. My favorite is the photo on this page captioned “Here is a picture I had of Ernie driving his truck…” And the songs have a perfect bizarro-world-JoCo quality to them – poor Ernie really loved Jan.

3. Where the hell is Jonathan Coulton? Last week we closed on the sale of my old home and the purchase of my new home, and on Monday we moved. I’ve been too preoccupied to blog or twitter – sorry if you’re waiting for me to get back to you, or even just let you know that I’m alive. I’m still in Brooklyn, not too far away from where I was, but kind of on the fringe of Stroller Town itself. The new place has some leaks and broken things, and of course my entire life is packed into lots of poorly labeled boxes. I can’t find anything, all is chaos. I had no internet until yesterday afternoon, which was painful. And my studio does not really exist at this point – it will only when I muster up the strength to find everything and plug it in again. The photo up top is my old studio room, now empty and sad.

Moving is weird. A lot happened in that old apartment – I entered as a childless writer of software, I leave as a twice bekidded musician, with Thing a Week and all the rest of it trailing out behind me. The new place has quite a bit to live up to. I’m hoping that soon it will actually feel more like home, and less like a showroom for a cardboard box company.

Sorry to have been so quiet. I will start making noise again soon.


Brenda says

Great to get the update. Hey did you notice how the new Sprint commercial sounds lots like Sibling Rivalry? Maybe its just me!

Psycho says

Heh, it's probably gonna be tough getting back to all of those @jonathancoulton's and emails. Have fun unpacking your stuff!

Eric says

After the tweets about moving I wondered how long you'd be without the interwebs. Moving sucks but it's exciting to get a fresh start too (and more room for the kids). Hope nothing important is lost or broken. *knock wood*

Jack F says

Congrats on the new home. Those little ones will get big so fast it'll amaze you. Be sure to mark their heights on a door frame somewhere.

JJ says

BTW, nice pic in PC Gamer magazine. Squee!

Zach Totz says

Was Veronica Belmont in on it from the start? She's who I heard about it from, and back on March 31, I assumed in a blog comment that she was part of this whole thing.

Also, a Geek Squad guy who was helping me out with wireless network problems saw the "Fonzie" photo that I took with you and Paul & Storm at the Ark and as he had somehow never heard of you, assumed you were high school friends of mine even though I'd already informed him that I'd only graduated back on 07.

Kahnor says

So who was that for the picture of the guy with the guitar? i just want to know, because that seems as to be the only plot-hole in this dasterdly play you have made.

Paul R. Potts says

Wow, there is something very, very poignant and strange about the picture of the empty studio room! How many songs did you record in that room? How many hours of takes? (Even the deleted ones). It seems like it ought to get a commemorative plaque at the least!

And of course I've never been in it, but after the photos and the "JoCo in a Bubble" video clips and what-not I feel like I've been a fly on the wall in that room!

I hope you have a good spot to record in the new place!

shanadian says

Whoa, and I thought I was only a LITTLE out of the loop!

Man, I lose internet for 5 months and my favorite musician has another kid (what is it????), moves, and has only gotten one new song out!

I feel your pain at losing internet for a few days.
I lost it for 200...

Good luck and give your new place a hug so your house gets properly warmed! (House-warming is important!)

Zach Totz says

Happy Zombie Jesus Day, everyone!

Kahnor says

Happy zombie jesus day to you to zach! Hail Zombie jesus

Kahnor says

Happy zombie jesus day to you to zach! Hail Zombie jesus!

Paul says

It's possible that I'm just stupid, but I figure it can't hurt to ask.

I can't seem to download any of the Ernie Wade MP3s - when I click on the link, it just reloads the page, no MP3 to be found. The URL ends with "?attredirects=0", which struck me as odd.

Does anyone have any idea what might be going on? I'd love to hear the songs... :-(

Sam says

You misspelled "AMIRITE." Just thought I'd put that out there.

Roman V. says

Congrats on the new home, JoCo. And a happy magical zombie man day, on which I forgot to post, because I was too angry at the fact that the mall and the haircut place were closed....

Paul says

You should try and leave a time capsule so that someone who looks in the right place will get a nice surprise, some info on a previous occupier and what you did there.

Maybe a waterproof envelope with some of your original pieces and web-page printouts in the loft (do you call it a loft over there?)

Good luck and I hope there's nothing bio-degradable in the last boxes.


Zach Totz says

I miss being a little kid and just being able to say stuff like "I'm a plane!" and act like one on a whim...

veronica says

In on what? ;)

AndreaC says

OK... they played a song of yours on a show called Millionaire Matchmaker... and it wasn't "Millionaire Girlfriend"???

Missed opportunities, very sad.

Happy new home!

Jeff says

Maybe Patti can hook you up with your millionaire girlfriend, and she'll be your life.

poodlegoose says

I actually watched that episode of Matchmaker, and was impressed that I caught the song in the first place. Congrats on the FAME! And congrats on the move.