By JoCo December 2, 2008

When you get to be 38 like me, the birthday thing starts to feel a little bit like old news – what, this again? So it’s nice to discover that people I don’t even know are thinking of me on my SPECIAL DAY (which was yesterday December 1). I received several gifts in the mail yesterday, many birthday wishes via email, and most remarkably, a box filled with the results of a stuffed monkey’s incredible journey across the globe, through the very bowels of JoCo fandom (i.e., NASA, Ren Faires, etc.). Colleen kicked the whole thing off in the forums, and over the course of the last year said monkey was passed from fan to fan, collecting souvenirs, journal entries and photos along the way. Here is most of what came in the box (two boxes actually).

This monkey\'s going to heaven

I’m still trying to process everything, but it certainly seems like JoCo fans know how to show a monkey a good time (does anyone know how to disinfect a stuffed monkey?).

You people are crazy, and I love you for it. Thank you.


three08 says

check the care tag and see if it's machine washable. maybe a little color-safe non-chlorine bleach will do the trick? i dragged the little guy all around the financial district yesterday, while eating pizza with the same pair of hands, so if i come down with anthrax i will be sure to let you know.

Kapprika says

I'd suggest sticking the thing in the freezer for 24 hours.

Also, happy Birthday.

Michael says

Happy Birthday, JoCo! And thanks for your gift on MY birthday a few weeks ago! It's going above the bed in Beijing.
...but not ABOVE the bed in Beijing.


Ken says

Happy Birthday JoCo !

Jeff MacDougall says

Fire. Yeah, I believe setting it on fire should do the trick. But if you want to actually keep it... a good machine wash with some oxy clean to boot should get you there.

Jon Dittert says

A really big mop, I don't know maybe?

Oh wait, that's something else...

Also, Happy Birthday!

Lara says

Happy Birthday to you,
You live in a Zoo
You look like a monkey
And you write monkey songs too!

JR says

Happy Birthday, Dude!! I know what you mean about birthdays becoming no big deal. I just had my 3rd baby...that's exciting!

MitchO says

There is actually a Ponkey floating around that was originally scheduled to arrive to you yesterday also, but inclement weather and such delayed .. him? her? it? Hopefully he gets there by the end of the year.

Colleenky says

You're welcome. I'm glad you like it. :-D

JonWho says

PG Tips monkey makes it across the pond!

M_pony says

I'm still 2 months older than you: neener neener. ;) Happy Birthday!

M_pony says

almost forgot.. as for disinfecting a stuffed monkey: Autoclave.

Kapuran says

Apologies for the belatedness, but Happy Birthday!

Psycho says

If you're actually not joking about the disinfecting thing, you could probably throw it in a pillowcase and tie up the opening... then throw that in the washer. :P

Happy birthday.

MacroGeek says

The universal formula for washing stuffed aminal friends in our house is:

1. Put the stuffed guy in a pillowcase and tie it shut.
2. Wash on a non-traumatic washer setting with a couple of big fluffy towels.
3. Dry the animal/pillowcase w/ the same towels, and a couple of dryer sheets on a medium or low heat setting so they animal's fur / stuffing doesn't get toasted.

This is how we refurbish orphan stuffed animals from thrift stores.

Jill D. says

Happy birthday, JoCo! :)

mucklet says

Happy birthday, JoCo!

brandeks says

Happy birthday MC Frontalot!

Oh wait... wrong website...

Judah Adashi says

Happy belated birthday, Jon -- I'm please, if unsurprised to learn that you're a fellow Sagittarius! Speaking of which: if someone wants to get me some Lawrence Lessig for my 33rd on 12/6, which book do I start with? I'm seeing mixed reviews of the new one...JA.

Alex Munro says

Happy birthday!

Jana says

Happy Birthday Jonathan!
We washed Monkey up in the sink! Kind of like he had a little bubble bath! Seemed to work well!

Roman V. says

Passing a creepy monkey doll from place to place... it's official, you have some of the oddest hilarious fans. We need to think of a special name for Coulton fans, in the vain of "Hulkamaniacs" or whatevs.

Coultos? I like Coultos... Kind of sounds like a cereal though...

Bry says

Roman: The "established" term (that about five people know about, and they're all on the forums) is "Coultonista" (introduced here), I do believe. Further discussions on the forums have suggested "the JoCohort," which is, y'know, okay, I guess?

robgonzo says

I'm glad you had a good birthday! Glad too that you enjoyed the pics from the Scarborough Renaissance Festival. It was my please to show monkey around.

Angelastic says

Glad to see Code Monkey finally got to you, even if the ponkey is still globetrotting! I had the honour of meeting the monkey during the UK tour. In fact, it helped me to record the Nottingham show (which I am just now finally preparing to upload somewhere. I wish I had a million monkeys helping me to split up these recordings.)

Also, I'm glad that you enjoyed your birthday, or JoCo day as we plebs call it.

Mr.Nobody says

Yay! Someone finally loves me for being crazy! Happy belated birthday, JC.

Liana says

Happy belated birthday, JoCo! Yay ^_^

Angelastic says

Oh, yeah... I don't know whether you saw this already, since it's on the forums but not in the gallery, but here's a video of the monkey fighting with a half-pony half-monkey monster.

kerrin says

The diary was an interesting read, shame no one transcribe it. From it I learnt that monkey had been sat on a garbage a clean would be a good idea.

sprockey says

Gentle cycle in the wash, no dryer. Happy Birthday

Angelastic says

I know a beautiful song about a teddy bear being washed, but it's in French. Anyway, in the song, the bear is put in the washing machine (where the poor thing gets soapy water in its mouth) and then hung up to dry, basically what sprockey said.

Laurelli says

Happy Belated Birthday JoCo!!! Glad Mr. Monkey made it to you. Oddest thing I have ever had the pleasure to be a part of!

llyse says

Happy Really Belated Birthday!

I sort of made something quite some time ago, but never had the bollocks to actually send it. Now's the time, I suppose.

Laura says

Happy birthday to you! December birthdays rock. It's my birthday today, so my feller made me steak and chips (fries, to you American people), and I am pleased to report it was YUMMY even without any steak-tastes-better pills :o)

R. Kevin Hill says

Coultists of course.

My question is, what do we send you on the first of May?

Molly says

@R. Kevin Hill
Oh god. I don't want to know where that monkey was on the first of May.

Jordan says


Jonathan has the same birthday as I do.

Gracita says

Happy belated birthday!!!

p.s.: I have a December birthday too! but it's kinda close to christmas (20th) so people always give me one present for both, grrrr!
... and, if it makes you feel any better, you definitely look younger than 38 :)

Colin says

In honor of your 38th birthday in particular, I suggest that you listen to "Maturity", by Henry Rollins. Not perhaps so terribly applicable to you, but pretty good nevertheless.

Jenni says

How cute... it seems as though your fans think you're a 9 year old girl. That's special. :)

Seriously, that's an awesome pile of stuff. Happy Bizirthday.

Jeff says

Holy carp. My b-day is 12/1/70 also. You rock, man. (me, not so much)
Shout out to Dunes for turning me on to your music.

crazy diamond says

if i were the sort of person that thought ahead to important dates and things, i think i mighta sent you one of these:

instead, i wait until i am TEN DAYS late to wish you a happy belated birthday. just to make the joy last into the double digits.

(still tingling cuz he said he loves us) we lurrrrve you, joc!

anachaphFom says

Thanks the author!