Bacon, Rapping

By JoCo April 15, 2008

I just fulfilled my duties (tee-hee) as a judge in the latest ColorWars challenge, which was to create a nerd rap that includes the word bacon and your ColorWars team name (Colorwars is the latest crunchy bit to fall from the salty and delicious mind of Ze Frank). If you think it’s hard to rhyme with BACON, I must tell you that you are misTAKEN. Entries and results here.


Trampas says

You should launch your own line of bacon and pork-related products. Ba-Co or Code Bacon or Skullcrusher Pork Products... I'd trust you more than that Jimmy Dean guy. You know he's hiding something... I'm going to find out your secret, Dean, and then I'm bringing you down. You are on notice.

SMurph says

I find it amusing that of the four songs they listed as being samples of JoCo's "Thing a Week" project (vengeful nerds: 'The Future Soon', self-loathing giant squid: 'I Crush Everything', partially-imagined historical figures: 'Kenesaw Mountain Landis', and devotees of a certain Swedish prefab furniture store: 'Ikea') , not one of them is actually from Thing a Week...

dano says


JoCo & DocPop: Twins, separated @ birth, or just Brothers from Different Mothers?!?

U decide!

Mark Gordon says

That rhyme sounds vaguely familiar...

Colton David says

Hmm....Clay Aiken be shakin' his bacon flavoured cake in the haaaaaaaaaallway....word


rozwarren says

Skullcrusher Pork Products! Excellent idea. It'll be like those Paul Newman salad dressings! And you can pour all the profits into free range habitats for rescued half pony/half monkey monsters!

HitsHerMark says

I'm glad you liked my rap!

I'll totally bake cookies for you if you're ever down in Orange County, CA.

I did have some verses that made references to "Thing a week" songs, but I didn't want to be seen as pandering to one of the judges. So when I had to trim for time, those were among what was cut.

justaquestioner says

mistaken rhymes with bacon, but does anything rhyme with ninja? Anything?
Even orange rhymes with door hinge, but ninja...

LSK says

I'd like to hear Jonathan Coulton rapping.

Roman V. says

@LSK - I second that, but then again, slow folky covers of rap songs are not a bad alternative. Especially considering the nerdcore rap thing is often overdone, and barely even musical most of the time.

Colleenky says

@Mark: Taking every opportunity to plug Molly, aren't you? :-)



I am building up an all-star team called teammarshmallow to compete in the ColorWars.

I know some of you have already been practicing your haiku skills!! Oh look a haiku competition is coming well as a scavenger hunt using Google Street View....

My friends suck and are not open to anything fun so I have to beg online. Pathetic. I know!

David says

The winner doesn't deserve it. 785?! On the SATs? On a test where the score increases by increments of 10? I don't care if it rhymes, it ruined the rap for me.

Trampas says

@I LUV CALI : Since they're deleting all teams with less than 15 members soon, I joined Team Sweater Vest. Yes, Sweater Vest is a color. It's the color of SNAZZY!

Jump on the vested bandwagon!

M_pony says

hey mister Ninja,
pass me that syringe-a,
it's gonna make me twinge-a
when I stick it in me arm.

I am open for recruitment.
M_pony, MSc. ;)

Jorge says

hey justaquestioner, looks like M_pony pinned-ya. :)

(Or pinja, if you're slow on the uptake).

JC, anything involving Bacon is amazing. I need to get involved in more bacon-related events.

Roman V. says

I'm going to start Team Orange... Oh wait, there's door hinge.

How about Team Silver?