Hey Terrorists

By JoCo February 17, 2007


Ha-HA! Oh, sorry, did you have a plot to take over an airplane with bottles of smart water and Pepsi and stuff? Guess what: that shit is FOILED. Check. Mate.

If I sound bitter, it’s because I was bumped from my flight to San Fran, and have been killing time in JFK until my new 10 PM flight to Salt Lake City. I had to use the words “unacceptable” and “supervisor” several times before they managed to figure out a way to get me to SF in time for the show tomorrow night. On the plus side, I did have a chance to play a little Ms. Pacman and a bit of the old Galaga. I did pretty well in the former, but shot my own captured ship in the latter – rookie mistake! Now I’ve been hanging around long enough that it’s actually starting to feel a little homey – like all the tired angry airport people are my tired angry family. I’m going to miss this airport.

I know you’re worth it, west coast.


Shannon says

You know I thnk that after awhile. someone could make a quite a booty after recycling those pop bottles!! I need to work in an airport. I hope you can get to your destination without much trouble now. See ya.

Glenn Peters says

We are! Anything you want in Portland? Bottle of water?

Charles says

Sorry, brother, I feel your pain.

The two things that bug me about the "War on Fluids" is first, most scientists feel that the risk is largely theoretical (and unlikely to be operational in the field.

Second, even if it was a legitimate concern, their process does not threat it as so. Note that all the "contraband" is just thrown on the table. If they were out to capture "terrorists," they would track each bottle with the passenger it was confiscated from, then test it to make sure it is not a dangerous substance. At a minimum, they wouldn't just leave it around a high traffic area such as a screening area.

Daisy says

Well, it may not SEEM worth it until you get to Seattle...

micropuf says

Speaking of the San Fran show, I just found out I can't go. I have two tickets, and I would like to give them away free to a good home. The catch is you will need to drive to Orangevale (30 minutes East of Sacramento) and pick them up from me. For people in the Sacramento area this may not be so bad. If interested, please email me ASAP. micropuf@sbcglobal.net

Tickets are in perfect condition except they may be slightly soaked with tears of disappointment and dismay.

Scott Haley says

They started the liquids ban because they were afraid of binary explosives--mix two liquids and kaboom! When they confiscate people's drinks and perfumes and so forth, they often throw everything into the same garbage can. It's called "security theater." You're not really safer, but maybe you'll feel that way.

I'll see you, and hear you, at the Tractor Tavern, Seattle!


minimo says

I thought they'd lightened up on the fluids nonsense. Damn.
Wishing you godspeed from Salt Lake City! We are honored you are thinking of us.

Keith says

That's right terrorists, you sorry mofos be THIRSTY! Take that!

Sorry to hear about your travel trouble, JC. Why didn't you just take the golden submarine?

See you tomorrow. Peace.

BobCat says

There's Galaga at JFK? You didn't run into David Lightman there, did you?

Heather says

We are absolutely worth it. I'm just sad that you're in San Francisco while I'm in LA and in LA while I'm in Fresno.

Don't suppose you'd consider scenic Fresno for a show someday. We can offer boredom... and cows.

Sparky says

Soon you will be rich and famous enough to afford your own personal zeppelin, and thus bypass all this “airport” nonsense.

AiYume says

I'm not from Fresno, but I think "Boredom... And Cows" sounds like a great name for a Jonathan Coulton song.

Sparky says

Speaking of foiled plans -- The Cafe Du Nord site says "no photography unless you get permission well in advance". Rats. Does this mean that if I bring my camera I will be searched, detained and put on some sort of "Do Not Rock" list? :(

Lynn S. says

Jonathan, the West Coast is SO worth it. I am so madly in love with you I am staying away from your show so you don't have to call security. (Translation: I don't leave the house at night; I've got two little ones and a chronic health problem.) Seriously, though, I'm freaking that you're even going to be in my town. I just discovered you and I've already driven my friends crazy foisting your music on them. :) yay! enjoy your tour!

The Dane says

Some day there will be a show in the OC. And on that day, your travels to the West Coast will be made Worth It (tm).

James Cooper says

Hah! Take that terrorists and your nefarious plans to give us cavities, diabetes, and caffeine headaches!

Hmm, the LA shows approaches. I have an appointment with a laser for my corneas the following day though. Argh, what to do...

Shelley says

(Off-topic): Totally grooving on Code Monkey (here via finslippy) and giving you some linky love over on But Wait, There's More (readership = 16 souls including my parents, but still)... thank you!

Cecil Vortex says

Great show last night in San Francisco. Seemed like a 2 hour set. Is that possible? Can a man by himself with just a guitar play for two hours?

I got a little nervous when the couple in front of me started seriously necking during 1st of May, but it all worked out.

Picked up size-small skullcrusher mountain t-shirts from my 6 and 9 year olds, who just told me they want to wear 'em today. All in all, a swell time out. Looking forward to the next west coast swing,

Andrea says

Does your iPod contain the song "arrivals gate" by Ani DiFranco? Good times.

Steven says

Hey, I got bumped, too! Specifically, I got "bumped" from the SF show because it was sold out. I'm glad you had a sold out show, and I hope you make it out here again soon!

Luke M says

The Cafe du Nord show was fantastic, SF loves ya JC! I talked to people on the way out and everybody thought you played a great set. Congratulations on rocking the Bay Area and come back soon!

Anybody got the set list?

BTW, I loved the transition from Mr Fancy Pants into Skullcrusher Mountain ... I always enjoy a good smooth song splice :)


Matticus Rex says

I SO wanted to go to the show at Du Nord, but the advanced tix were sold out and by the time I got to the box office they were gone! Garh! Bigger venue next time so all us slacker types can give you our money to watch you administrate your minstrelsy. I'm jealous of all those with a big enough prefrontal cortex to have planned ahead!

Russ Matthews says

The Cafe du Nord show rocked! We were so glad that you could make it to San Francisco and the show was certainly worth the wait. Please come back soon, as I'm sure you could tell by the packed house and thunderous applause, you have a fan or two here and will always be welcome. :)

Colleenky says

Matticus Rex - just an FYI. Be careful using the word "minstrelsy." In another common usage, it refers to people performing in blackface.

Average Jon says

The thing is...

Most of the terrorists come from countries with arid climates and limited hygiene. They’re used to going a couple hours without a cool clear refreshing beverage or brushing their teeth.

My theory is that the government won’t let us take liquids on to planes to make it easier to spot the terrorists.

If you’re not suffering, you may be a terrorist.