Thing a Week 31 – Just as Long as Me

By JoCo May 5, 2006

I wrote this song for a documentary a friend is working on about being tall (and in case he is reading this: yes, I certainly do owe him a phone call). Some people fake the funk, me, I fake the bluegrass. And this feller in this song, you see, he’s extremely tall and he would like to find a tall woman. I like the vocals and I’m pretty proud of the word play in the chorus, but I think this song could be much improved by the addition of a little fiddle – any bluegrass fiddle players out there?

Just as Long as Me

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Glenn says

Very nice. Nicely varied; I'm still impressed you've been able to do this much for the Thing a Week.

Now if I could just figure out why iTunes isn't putting your stuff in my Library...

Ian says

How long have you been playing mandolin, dude? I'm impressed.

LC says

Hilarious! It made me lough out loud in school, with headphones on, right in front of my teacher.

Randal C. says

Before he passed away, my grandpa told me to marry a girl who was just as tall as myself, so that I wouldn't have to adjust the driver's seat everytime she drove me car. My relatively short grandma was not amusted.

I got within two inches, and I think he approved (it may have been the day she kissed him on the forehead and he got a direct view into her cleavage), but I still have to adjust the car seat.

Sean says

Reminds me of something that happened way back in high school Spanish, The teacher was going around asking students to make a statement about a classmate, and one, referring to a rather tall student, said "Juan es muy largo." [John is very long.] He was asked how he came to know such a thing...

Tim says

A bit late, but I couldn't resist today doing a mix of the Ikea song with the Viking Kittens video (

Here's the results...

Eric says

"Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me"

I hate when I do that. But sometimes I say, "sod it," and keep the song, anyway. Nice banjos, as always. Special thanks to Tim, who gives us the milk-out-your-nose moment of the evening.

I'm still on the road trip (in MD, now). I've learned something these past 1100 miles: my iPod no like you. I put it on shuffle, and 300+ songs later, it's given me See You All in Hell and Resolutions. JUST as I was pulling into my destination at the end of today's driving, I FINALLY got Someone is Crazy. Maybe these last 200 miles will be kinder in their random selection. Or, maybe my iPod is all youed out, since I had your entire catalogue (yes, I have every song, I'm a geek) on shuffle from Red Bank to Newark, Newark to Miami, and Miami to Boca Raton.

Take care this week, and some week, write me a song about taking a road trip all alone. I'd give you more details, but I don't want to hinder your creative process.


Dave says

As one whose longtime girlfriend is a foot shorter than I am, this song made me weep...

Daniel says

I wish I still played the fiddle now...

Susan says

I know a fiddler who lives in Park Slope
Ask her to play and she won't say nope
She's from Nashville, T-N, where the grass is blue,
So just say the word,
I'll move quick like a bird,
And put her in touch with you. And Liz knows her too.

Michael says

My Opry-fan wife says you "fake the bluegrass" quite well, thank you.

Max says

Yes!! Just as long as she is just as long as me!! GENIUS!!

-Max (who is also a lyricist and thinks you rock)

Daniel says

Don't know what I did for musical entertainment before I found your site! Great stuff here. I agree, a fiddle would add a lot, but I love it just the same. Had to listen to it twice it was so good.

Mike the Unemployed says

Man.... That's a tall tale. Good stuff that!

Michael says

>Eric: I know the feeling you're talking about. (And yes, keep the song!) As it happens, though, Queen wasn't the first:

"I remember when I was a lad
Times were hard and things were bad
But there's a silver linin' behind ev'ry cloud
Just four people that 's all we were
Tryin' to make a livin' out of black-land dirt
But we'd get together in a family circle singin' loud..."

And I doubt that Carl Perkins originated that verse tune either. I'm fairly sure that if we looked really hard we'd find it in some old, old hymnal. Those notes appear to be an entrenched Part Of The Literature. (Which is why I was kinda fuddled to hear Queen using a revival-hymn idiom to sing about "Fat-Bottomed Girls." Talk about incongruity.)

But Perkins, Queen, and JC each have their own take on the tune, and add their own chorus (they all probably said "sod it" and kept the song). JC may be "fakin' the bluegrass," but at least he's drawing from a recognized well.

Michael says

Aha! Found it:

I once was lost in sin
But Jesus took me in
And then a little light from heaven filled my soul
He bathed my heart in love
And wrote my name above
And just a little talk with Jesus made me whole

Okay, so it's "old" in terms of decades, not centuries. But folk and country both have a history of swapping tunes and building on them--for example, "Great Speckled Bird"/"Wild Side of Life" and "Poor Wayfaring Stranger"/"Julianne," and the tavern ditty "To Anacreon in Heaven," of which you've doubtless sung the tune at many a ball game.

IQpierce says

I think the link is down.

Love your music.

JoCo says

Oops. Fixed now...

Kyle says

I agree with IQpierce. The link isn't working :( I am saddened this was such a good song and now I can't play it. Please work on it, or tell me something is wrong with my computer. I'm sorry to complain but the music is soo good and I am addicted. Now I can't hear it.

JoCo says

Hey! Fixed one link, broke another. Now they should all work.

Matt says

Jonathan you work continues to impress me. Loved the song. If you didn't know there is a website that goes quite well with your song.

The Tall Street Journal is a social networking site for tall people. I'll see if I can divert some of their members over here to listen to your songs.

Keep up the great work!

CheyenneJack says

Ha ha ha. Very nice. Too bad that kids video doesn't work anymore. I always hear Leo Laporte talking about Johnathan Coultons songs, great to hear about a "tall" song. members have definitely been informed now.