I usually avoid this kind of thing, but in this case I can’t help myself. If you live in Washington DC, there are two things that you must do right away. One is to make plans to go see the first installment of the F.W. Thomas Performances, a new monthly literary variety show created and hosted by my friend Adam Mazmanian. Adam is a great writer and a very funny fellow – he read something when John Hodgman, David Rees and I performed there a few months ago, and he absolutely killed. This Monday April 10 at the Warehouse Theater, he may kill again.
The second thing: maybe you’re hungry. Maybe you like delicious food. Maybe you want to eat duck prepared in THREE DIFFERENT WAYS! If so, you should head to David Craig Bethesda and eat there. It is good. I am telling you. Plus, my cousin is the co-owner (and undisputed master of the air guitar), and if you make nice with him he may tell you funny family stories about me. Ask for Johnny Bigpants, and tell him Yale Boy sent you.
I'll do my best to make it on the 10th. I work in Bethesda and I know that spot, so I'll check out the restaurant, though any restaurant that has "Dark-wood wainscotting" is likely to be out of my price range. What is that, anyway? Do I put barbecue sauce on it?
Oh, ooookay. But only if you come play a show here.
Eric Ginsberg says
Maybe you're stranded in Vegas. Maybe you're headed there anyway. Maybe your a train with square wheels. Maybe you're a squirt gun the only shoots jam. Maybe you should stay and have another drink and think about me and you. Maybe I am better off alone. Maybe Iâ€™ll see you in flagrante delicto. Maybe if she's 5'3". Maybe by morning Iâ€™ll be gone. Maybe when we get outside weâ€™ll both still remember. Maybe someday we will meet on the street and Iâ€™ll know itâ€™s you. Maybe thatâ€™s OK for now but someday youâ€™ll be out of food and guns. Maybe we should compromise. Maybe if you forget to hide the keys Iâ€™ll take a ride to Applebyâ€™s. Maybe some west coast thing Iâ€™ll never understand. Maybe just because I hate California. Maybe you could be her. Maybe you don't like monsters so much. Maybe I used too many monkeys. Maybe this could be the year when they defeat the world forever.
When I started writing this comment, it was intended to be much shorter. But can I help it if you're such a one-trick pony?
since you're on the topic of dc, i feel like i should place an asterisk beside the DC "demand it" count. many of us (seven of us guaranteed) are college students; our year ends mid-may, and though we're not all high-taling it out, if you did a show after the 15th or so it would affect the validity of the tally. i don't know if you're anywhere near critical mass, but i thought you should know it's a little time sensitive. (so you should do a show here stat.)
Wait, your cousin is the undisputed master of the air guitar? Does that mean your cousin is Dwyer??
Maybe...no, he's not. Dwyer is some anonymous golfer who likes beer and has a friend with access to a sweet basement hangout.
Allison and other demanders: right now I'm shooting for 5/26, which is maybe too late for you college kids. But there might be something I could do a little earlier too - we shall see...
OK, I walked past David Craig Bethesda today. Turns out it's only open for dinner, not lunch. The menu looked very good, though.
Oh, crap. I knew there was something I forgot to do last night...