Trapped in the Closet

R. Kelly has gone insane. If you haven’t yet, I urge you to listen to his “Trapped in the Closet” song cycle, because it is truly wonderful in the most awful way. I guess it’s a comedy of errors, or maybe some kind of sex romp farce thing involving a lot of sleeping around, strange unnatural dialog, and a little bit of gun play. I have a few complaints/things that I love about it:

1. I get the feeling that R. may have phoned it in on the music. Each of the five songs is exactly the same, just with different words. Maybe he is trying to comment on how boring infidelity is.

2. The lyrics sound like they were made up on the spot in the studio. By accident.

3. It’s called “Trapped in the Closet.”

4. There is an excruciating sex scene involving these phrases: “…baby we must slow down before I bust a vessel in my brain…” and “…Oh my goodness I’m about to climax…” Oh my goodness.

All of this really being an excuse to point you to these most excellent Cliff’s Notes. Damn I wish I’d thought of that. I think my favorite is essay question #2: In chapter four, what does Sylvester mean by “a tear fell up out my eye?”