Please Do Not Get Arrested

April 30th, 2010

And if you do, please do not mention my name to the police.

It is a very special day in Coultonland, a day I like to call “The First of May.” This is a free country, or at least it was until Obama was elected,* and so I do not presume to tell you how to celebrate it. I have no doubt that whatever you do, you will be sure to obey the law and comply with local ordinances. Also please remember that poison ivy has three shiny pointy leaves.

I myself will mostly be staying indoors, but I have already rubbed a couple of butts – no, they were PORK BUTTS, and I rubbed them with SPICES you pervert. What is wrong with you? Later I’m going to cook them on the GIRL.

My gift to you is this mp3 of a relevant track from “BEST. CONCERT. EVER.” You do not have to get me anything, in fact, I think I would prefer that you didn’t.

Happy Spring!

* Sarcasm

What Is Happening? (TL;DR)

April 21st, 2010

Hello! If it seems like I’ve disappeared from the internet it’s because I’ve been in prison. Kidding! They have the internet in prison!

First, please note that the following shows are happening:

May 7th-9th
MaxFunCon!
Lake Arrowhead, CA
Pretty sure it’s too late to get tickets to this, but even so: http://www.maxfuncon.com

Thursday May 13 at 8PM
The Hat Factory in Richmond, VA
With Paul and Storm
Tickets: http://bit.ly/9DUbkg

Friday May 14 at 9PM
The Lincoln Theater in Raleigh, NC
With Paul and Storm
Tickets: http://bit.ly/9yGzhH

Saturday May 22 at 8 PM
Sympho’s “Tweetheart”
Church for All Nations in NYC
Sympho is an orchestral concert series run by my friend (and fellow Whiffenpoof!) Paul Haas. Tweetheart is an evening of classical, electronica, and pop songs about love. I’ll be doing one of my songs that he’s arranged for the symphony – it’s going to be really cool I think.
Tickets: http://bit.ly/awryfl

Thursday May 27 at 7:30PM
Just for Laughs in Montreal, QC
With Paul and Storm
Tickets: http://bit.ly/aBraSC
If you think I am not going to do “Re: Your Brains” in French while I am in Quebec, then you are crazy. There are still PLENTY of tickets available, if you know what I mean.

Friday May 28 at 8PM
Gladstone Theater in Ottawa, ON
With Paul and Storm
Tickets: http://bit.ly/92ShRK

Sunday May 30 at 8PM
Enwave Theater in Toronto, ON
With Paul and Storm
Tickets: http://bit.ly/98K68o

And now for the long wordy part in which I talk about me.

Yes, I have been hiding out of late. You may have noticed my last blog update was OVER A MONTH AGO, and I’ve been awfully quiet on the Twitter. And of course I continue to completely ignore Facebook and MySpace, though that’s mostly because I am an old person. This year had a busy start with a lot of touring, all really great shows with some lovely audiences, including the exciting opportunity to open for They Might Be Giants for a few shows. But all that travel time and road food and T-shirt counting tires me out. I have been resting.

As I keep saying in interviews, “Whine whine, success is a terrible burden, etc.” I was as surprised as anyone when Thing a Week started generating audiences and income, and the last few years have been about sorting that out: figuring out how to play live and tour, tweaking the business side of things, counting huge stacks of cash, finding a decent helipad maintenance team, the usual. There hasn’t been a lot of song writing, which is supposedly a large part of my job. I understand now why bands tour for a while and then stop so they can write the next record – it’s very hard to write anywhere near a tour, especially when you’re running everything yourself. Sometimes I feel more like a traveling salesman than a musician.

So I’m going to keep a much lighter tour schedule for a while, and I’m going to really buckle down and make some music. For serious this time. Not even jocoserious, I’m talking SERIOUS serious. In fact, I am currently working on a thrilling super-secret project, and if it comes together I’ll be able to talk about it very soon. I’m slightly terrified about it, which means it’s probably the right thing to do. And it will involve lots of new music and creative stretching and growing, which is something I desperately need if I’m going to stay engaged and satisfied and relevant. Thing a Week was excruciating, but I miss it. I’m ready for The Next Project, and I think I finally know what it is.

So that’s why it’s been quiet around here, and I promise it’s going to get less quiet soon. In the meantime, thanks for your patience and continued support.

P.S. Does anybody know how to write songs?