Robert Redford Is Not a Native Speaker of English
November 21st, 2007
I am not making this up. Here is what it says on page one of the Sundance Christmas catalog (I mean “Holiday Catalog”). This is supposedly a message straight from Robert Redford. And I quote:
“Holidays again. Forgive me while I dodge the rumble of the million footed throngs that have succumbed to the marketing ether for Christmas and its days.
Holiday. Can we, without disappointing the children and others who long for the surprise of gift giving, just look to a different value to digest, wherever you are? Those details that are natural and sometimes hidden? That have a satisfying and long lasting lifespan? Things that you miss when you’re away? That when someone might remind you, you say, oh yes, how wonderful. And of course the most vivid of details: loved ones who are there in body and spirit.
Happy holidays from all of us at Sundance.”
Wait, what? It’s like he snorted a bunch of pulped Christmas cards and fragments of them shot up into his brain, and then he got really high, punched an intern in the face, and dictated this – IN CHINESE. Seriously, what happened here? $100 to the first person who can explain this to me.
Yes, but it’s a holiday CATALOG. That is the most bizarre thing. A marketing piece.
Well, I must say it’s NOT interesting. Unlike Christmas. I guess that’s what they get when they make it all generic ‘holidays.”
It’s some kind of like some kind of hoity-toity-eco-mentalism speak – it’s become it’s own professional language, like having a doctor tell you you have a cold in clinical terms.
My grandaughter calls it yada yada bla bla bla.
‘Tis the season to be led by a child – I agree with her.
Well, it’s gotten us talking about it… How many people have looked at this who’d have previously ignored it now?
Actually, I liked the stylistic flow of his words regardless of who wrote them. It was a welcome change of pace compared to all the usual drivel spouted by celebrities.
It’s badly written, yes. But what it is most of all is using the “Christmas has become too commercial” argument to try and sell us more stuff. That’s what I don’t like. Like that one car commercial, Saturn I think: “stop consuming (but before you do, consume our car.” Plus that Sundance catalog is so frickin’ expensive.
Try picturing him saying this while standing on the stage of a small auditorium, with a pale blue blanket in tow, and starting out this whole passage with “Lights, please?”
It actually answers no questions, but damned if it doesn’t entertain me.
Maybe last Christmas somebody gave him a thesaurus… and a lobotomy?
Well, I think we found out what Miss South Carolina is doing nowadays: she got a copy-writing internship at the Sundance Center. At least she seems to be improving…
“Babelfish games. They wrote it in English, translated it to Innuit then translated it back. A good time was had by all.”
“Meet other festiveness mark. [Pardon me], during I the noise millions throngs avoid footed, which was subject to the ether of the marketing for Christmas and its days.
[Festiveness]. Can we, without at the children and of other one than loose to disappoint t-ever for the surprise of the gift, which just gives careful at a different value, around to digest where which is? These details, which are hidden naturally and sometimes? That has a satisfaction and a durable life expectancy? Things which misses it are missing when? That, if someone you so-called could remind it oh, how he is admirable. And naturally the most living thing on details: he liked united, which are there from body and alcohol.
Lucky festivenesses everything us in Sundance.”
Lucky festiveness everything us, indeed. Lucky festiveness everything _everyone_…
A few words will sum this up for all of you. Out-Sourcing.
Oh my god….this sounds exactly like the President of my organization (i.e. place I currently work). I’m thinking all head honchos attend a “how to make nice with customers and be communication-centric” workshops and learn how to verbalize/write like this. Run-on sentences. Fragments. Sentences that have no beginning…or end. Misplaced and misspelled (did I misspell that?) words. I’m banking that the workshops take place in – you guessed it – Sundance!
Hmm?
Why are people surprised at an apparent lack of grammar skills? Simply because of the celebrity of the person who has done the writing?
*shrugs* I’ve seen much, much worse, personally.
I will admit that in this context it did make me giggle. If I had seen it elsewhere beforehand I’m fairly certain I would have found it more interesting than amusing, however.
I’m fairly certain you’ve deciphered it yourself and that the $100 is a lie, so I’ll refrain from posting my own interpretation
He wrote this in Microsoft Word and let the paper clip help him.
He should have written it on a Mac.
Who cares?
Well, lets be fair. He was a great actor, but he’s basically old and senile now and probably gets frightened by the unpredictability of The Price is Right. All talent fades.
Those throngs all with their million feet are terrifying. Humanoid millionipedes! I’d lose my ability to communicate cogently, too.
Gilly wins.
Coulton先生，他就不太聪明，再说，他的很多朋友喜欢买东西。现在请你给我钱。谢谢。
Makes perfect sense to me.
Yes, it’s very much in keeping with how a narcissist expresses himself. Very distant, lacking any real emotion.
jajaja the guy was drunk at that time