Thing a Week 35 - Soft Rocked By Me
I find this one a bit unsettling. The guy in this song is a total ass - his philosophy is whatever the opposite of carpe diem is. I thought the idea of someone “soft rocking” you was kind of funny when I started this, but now I think it’s just creepy and sad. I’m disgusted with the whole thing.
No bass - no time!
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June 2nd, 2006 at 4:23 pm
Ug. that so sounds like a guy I know.
June 2nd, 2006 at 4:30 pm
> whatever the opposite of carpe diem is
“cede noctem” perhaps?
“I use the passive voice to show how gentle I’ll be.” Hee hee, I love grammatical humor!
June 3rd, 2006 at 6:15 am
Almost sounds like an ex I had only he was more rough and considered me as an object as opposed to a human. But the whole crying thing makes me go “Yikes!”
June 3rd, 2006 at 6:57 am
Im disgusted too….
June 3rd, 2006 at 7:05 am
Did you write this after a 24-hour Dan Fogelberg binge?
June 3rd, 2006 at 9:22 am
Ewwww…
June 3rd, 2006 at 10:06 am
JC, I’m sorry on behalf of everyone who’s insulting your work.
June 3rd, 2006 at 10:08 am
Hmm, I don’t get this one. It sounds just like — hey! * cries *
And on my birthday too! * cries harder * ;P
June 3rd, 2006 at 12:02 pm
It’s great — Fear not the Satire! It’s just taking Tenacious D’s “Hard F—ing” to the other extreme. It’s the Anti-D!
June 3rd, 2006 at 9:50 pm
I love it, i think it’s hilarious, and I can’t stop listening to it. I think its a real achievement when an artist is able to make someone feel a certain emotion about the person thinking still that the person singing it is actually the person and not just an artist singing a song in 1st person and simply pretending to be the artist there singing about.
June 3rd, 2006 at 10:47 pm
Cheyenne, good call!
I think if a little Barry White was added at the end it would be perfect.
June 4th, 2006 at 7:01 am
Haha, for some reason, my mom just adores this song.
What I’m impressed with is that you went the path of the artist and let your creativity carry the song to a form that you hadn’t even considered. You do it a lot, and it always makes me giddy.
June 4th, 2006 at 10:51 am
Alex said: “I think its a real achievement when an artist is able to make someone feel a certain emotion about the person thinking still that the person singing it is actually the person and not just an artist singing a song in 1st person and simply pretending to be the artist there singing about.”
Most confusing statement EVER.
June 4th, 2006 at 1:28 pm
I ramble all the time, sorry about that.
June 4th, 2006 at 9:32 pm
It may just be me, but I don’t think this is too bad morality-wise.
Shrug. I like it.
June 5th, 2006 at 5:32 am
Whats funny is there are sensitive guys out there that are very much like that guy.
June 5th, 2006 at 7:33 am
This song made me cry… in a manly way.
In defense of Fogelberg - I saw him in concert and he CAN rock. They just don’t play those tunes on the radio.
Please, JC - do a Jimmy Buffett parody. It’s just BEGGING to be done and I think you’re the guy to take it on.
June 5th, 2006 at 12:19 pm
I dunno, I kinda like it. It’s pretty and made me laugh a couple times. Don’t be hard on yourself, I liked it. And that’s what really matters, of course, Whether or not I like a song.
June 5th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Paul, if you want a Buffett parody, you should check out Paul and Storm’s song “Buffett Night (Tonight, I’m a Parrothead)”: http://paulandstorm.com/sounds/buffett.mp3
Unless you yourself *are* the Paul of Paul and Storm, in which case I feel kinda silly now.
June 5th, 2006 at 8:30 pm
Hmm.. Fogelberg uses those funkyweird chords too, and those harmonies..
I sense a conspiracy theory coming on.
June 7th, 2006 at 7:54 pm
Oh man…
I was an introspective geeky kid and spent a lot of time listening to “Pillow Talk with Alan Almond,” (clearly, I was a very lonely kid and this was in the 80’s when Adult Contemporary was everywhere). This song is the bastard stepchild of Christopher Cross “Sailing,” the aforementioned Dan Folgelberg “Longer,” Chris DeBurg “Lady in Red,” Stephen Bishop “It Might be You (Theme from Tootsie),” and the David Wilcox version of “Missing You.” Maybe even a bit of Air Supply for good measure. It’s so bad it’s good!
Maybe Owen Wilson could be in the video?
June 7th, 2006 at 7:55 pm
PS - I think adding bass would have completely thrown it off, so it worked out!
June 8th, 2006 at 6:46 am
It was well-made, for soft rock. Yyyuck! It’s a funny topic, but the music is hard to enjoy. Overall, the music feels the same as that guy thinks, so it works.
June 12th, 2006 at 9:06 pm
i am a big fan of all your stuff jonathan. if anyone ever says anything disparaging about your tunes, they are out of their minds. r
June 13th, 2006 at 3:45 am
Loved the song. The super-sensitive doormat creeped me out.
August 5th, 2006 at 11:23 am
Do you even know what carpe diem means anyway? I kninda am hating this song because soft rock scuks compared to real rock.
March 27th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
It’s true that the premise of the song is borderline creepy, but the tune is really catchy I must admit.
September 4th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Utterly funny! I am listening to Alan Almond’s Pillow Talk right now. Partly because it’s relaxing (It must be built into the female psyche to respond this way to soft brush snairs and a thumpy slow bass guitar) and also because I am so fascinated by this guys gig - The intrigue, the mystique, the resonating voice. But it all makes me laugh sooo much!!
Well crafted song.
September 15th, 2007 at 4:04 am
A perfect pastiche. You are The Man.
Extremely funny concept, yet musically still extremely respectable as a pop song. Best of both worlds.
December 12th, 2007 at 11:48 am
Great song. I discovered your stuff through the “Still Alive” ending in Portal, but you have quickly become one of my favorite artists. Looking forward to your next show in NYC.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:54 am
[...] Coulton’s song Soft Rocked By Me contains the lyrics, “I’ll listen to the things you say about the way you feel / I’ll [...]