Thing a Week 35 – Soft Rocked By Me
June 2nd, 2006
I find this one a bit unsettling. The guy in this song is a total ass – his philosophy is whatever the opposite of carpe diem is. I thought the idea of someone “soft rocking” you was kind of funny when I started this, but now I think it’s just creepy and sad. I’m disgusted with the whole thing.
No bass – no time!
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Ug. that so sounds like a guy I know.
> whatever the opposite of carpe diem is
“cede noctem” perhaps?
“I use the passive voice to show how gentle I’ll be.” Hee hee, I love grammatical humor!
Almost sounds like an ex I had only he was more rough and considered me as an object as opposed to a human. But the whole crying thing makes me go “Yikes!”
Im disgusted too….
Did you write this after a 24-hour Dan Fogelberg binge?
Ewwww…
JC, I’m sorry on behalf of everyone who’s insulting your work.
Hmm, I don’t get this one. It sounds just like — hey! * cries *
And on my birthday too! * cries harder * ;P
It’s great — Fear not the Satire! It’s just taking Tenacious D’s “Hard F—ing” to the other extreme. It’s the Anti-D!
I love it, i think it’s hilarious, and I can’t stop listening to it. I think its a real achievement when an artist is able to make someone feel a certain emotion about the person thinking still that the person singing it is actually the person and not just an artist singing a song in 1st person and simply pretending to be the artist there singing about.
Cheyenne, good call!
I think if a little Barry White was added at the end it would be perfect.
Haha, for some reason, my mom just adores this song.
What I’m impressed with is that you went the path of the artist and let your creativity carry the song to a form that you hadn’t even considered. You do it a lot, and it always makes me giddy.
Alex said: “I think its a real achievement when an artist is able to make someone feel a certain emotion about the person thinking still that the person singing it is actually the person and not just an artist singing a song in 1st person and simply pretending to be the artist there singing about.”
Most confusing statement EVER.
I ramble all the time, sorry about that.
It may just be me, but I don’t think this is too bad morality-wise.
Shrug. I like it.
Whats funny is there are sensitive guys out there that are very much like that guy.
This song made me cry… in a manly way.
In defense of Fogelberg – I saw him in concert and he CAN rock. They just don’t play those tunes on the radio.
Please, JC – do a Jimmy Buffett parody. It’s just BEGGING to be done and I think you’re the guy to take it on.
I dunno, I kinda like it. It’s pretty and made me laugh a couple times. Don’t be hard on yourself, I liked it. And that’s what really matters, of course, Whether or not I like a song.
Paul, if you want a Buffett parody, you should check out Paul and Storm’s song “Buffett Night (Tonight, I’m a Parrothead)”: http://paulandstorm.com/sounds/buffett.mp3
Unless you yourself *are* the Paul of Paul and Storm, in which case I feel kinda silly now.
Hmm.. Fogelberg uses those funkyweird chords too, and those harmonies..
I sense a conspiracy theory coming on.
Oh man…
I was an introspective geeky kid and spent a lot of time listening to “Pillow Talk with Alan Almond,” (clearly, I was a very lonely kid and this was in the 80′s when Adult Contemporary was everywhere). This song is the bastard stepchild of Christopher Cross “Sailing,” the aforementioned Dan Folgelberg “Longer,” Chris DeBurg “Lady in Red,” Stephen Bishop “It Might be You (Theme from Tootsie),” and the David Wilcox version of “Missing You.” Maybe even a bit of Air Supply for good measure. It’s so bad it’s good!
Maybe Owen Wilson could be in the video?
PS – I think adding bass would have completely thrown it off, so it worked out!
It was well-made, for soft rock. Yyyuck! It’s a funny topic, but the music is hard to enjoy. Overall, the music feels the same as that guy thinks, so it works.
i am a big fan of all your stuff jonathan. if anyone ever says anything disparaging about your tunes, they are out of their minds. r
Loved the song. The super-sensitive doormat creeped me out.
Do you even know what carpe diem means anyway? I kninda am hating this song because soft rock scuks compared to real rock.
It’s true that the premise of the song is borderline creepy, but the tune is really catchy I must admit.
Utterly funny! I am listening to Alan Almond’s Pillow Talk right now. Partly because it’s relaxing (It must be built into the female psyche to respond this way to soft brush snairs and a thumpy slow bass guitar) and also because I am so fascinated by this guys gig – The intrigue, the mystique, the resonating voice. But it all makes me laugh sooo much!!
Well crafted song.
A perfect pastiche. You are The Man.
Extremely funny concept, yet musically still extremely respectable as a pop song. Best of both worlds.
Great song. I discovered your stuff through the “Still Alive” ending in Portal, but you have quickly become one of my favorite artists. Looking forward to your next show in NYC.
[...] Coulton’s song Soft Rocked By Me contains the lyrics, “I’ll listen to the things you say about the way you feel / I’ll [...]
I know this is an old topic…but whoever originally posted this obviously doesn’t know Jonathan Coulton at all. All of his songs are parodies. They’re supposed to be somewhat unsettling…and he happens to be excellent at it.
Rock on, JC!
Jonathan posted it.
And this song makes me crack up, for the record (no pun intended). Especially the crying part, haha.
I’m disgusted with myself but I just became this guy.