Thing a Week 20 – Curl

February 10th, 2006

As some of you know, I’ve lately been feeling a bit under the weather. I saw a doctor recently, and I was diagnosed with – Olympic Fever! This week’s thing is about the US curling team, who will be competing in events next week. Those of us not intimately familiar with the sport would probably describe curling as bocce on ice, though the pros would probably have a thing or two to say about that. Just so’s you know, the leader of the team is called the “skipper” and the things they slide around are called “rocks” and the zone of concentric circles that you’re aiming for is called the “house” (thanks Wikipedia).

Standard disclaimer: I don’t have any idea how this really sounds because I did most of the mixing on an airplane with in-ear headphones. If it’s awful I’ll have to fix it in a week or so when I’m home again. Anyway: Curl

32 Responses to “Thing a Week 20 – Curl”

  1. Josh says:

    I think I might have seen early practices of this while my relatives were furniture shopping (though not at Ikea). Is it where the shove a circle across ice with a broom? Sorry, I have never heard of bocce.

  2. Jim Reverend says:

    Once again your wit and raw talent amazes me. Outstanding work. Thank you for writing and singing and playing.

    U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! :)

    Linked…

  3. Lars nCompany says:

    That is awesome, great song. Glad to know I won’t be the only American watching curling this time around.

  4. NotThatFrenchy says:

    Terrific, simply one of your best songs!
    Looking fwd to listening to the full mixed-edited-equalized version.

    btw – “bocce” has hadly anything to do w/ curl, despite the wikipedia article statement

  5. Amy says:

    Wonderful!

    Joe Polo from TEAM USA is my cousin… I’ve just emailed the link to your song to his family.

  6. JC says:

    Amy: Joe Cool himself! That’s excellent, please let me know what they think…

  7. Chuck H. says:

    Man, you are a tool.

  8. Glenn says:

    It’s a fiendish thingy!

  9. «Bonez_Brigade» says:

    Wicked! This song rocks! I was almost late for class this morning b/c I was watching the hot-ass US women’s curling team live on TV. How’s about 2 more Olympic songs for the next 2 weeks?!?!?

  10. ChuckenA says:

    This is clearly the theme to “Brokeback Mountain.”

  11. Outstanding!

    Thanks for giving us this song.

  12. Radek Skalski says:

    As usual…excelent Job! I’ve been a long time fan but this is my first time posting. Keep em comin JC!

  13. M.Sage says:

    OMG…I can’t see my keyboard through my tears of laughter.

    Sir…you rock!

  14. Olympic update – Curling rocks!

  15. jamesb says:

    Great Song! Of all the events you could have written a song about…you had to pick Curling. I live less than a mile from where the 2002 Winter Olympic Curling event was held. It’s a small world.

  16. Jess says:

    I loooooove curling. Yay for curling! I have yet to hear a TotW that I don’t like.

  17. Wilson Fowlie (aka CuriousMind) says:

    From cbc.ca (http://www.cbc.ca/olympics/sports/curling/stories/index.shtml?/story/olympics/national/2006/02/20/Sports/gushue060220.html):
    - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -
    Canada’s Brad Gushue showed plenty of determination Monday in claiming the final playoff berth in men’s curling at the Torino Olympic Winter Games.

    Gushue made three clutch shots in critical situations to beat Pete Fenson of the United States 6-3 in the 12th and final draw at Pinerolo, about 50 kilometres from Turin.
    - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -

    Just can’t keep those Canadians down.

  18. valerie413 says:

    Impressive. I graduated from Bemidji High with Pete Fenson and he actually taught curling at the college level several years back–I took one of his classes and lemme tell you…he knows ice! (He used to play hockey, too.) If you’re ever in Bemidji, drop by Dave’s Pizza and sit at the Turin booth…order yourself a sauerkraut pizza and hum your tune…ask Pete to add it to the juke box. ;) Thanks for the music–enjoyed it!

  19. wxnut says:

    I turned to the Winter Olympics on CNBC – All curling, all of the time – and becamed entranced.

    Fun song, by the way.

  20. JC says:

    See? You love curling. We all love curling, we just didn’t know it. I am sitting naked in an ice bath just to keep my olympic fever from boiling my brain inside my skull. Go Team USA!

  21. [...] C’mon baby, put the rock in the house: a song about curling (Yes, as in the olympic sport.), complete with ELO-esque falsetto harmony in the chorus.    Troy forwarded this to me from Bryan Dunn, who I guess is a friend of the guy who made it.   He posts a new song every friday, which is quite ambitious but he’s been doing it since september 2005. [...]

  22. Chris says:

    Great song! I didn’t understand it the first few times I heard it, but When I heard “Gotta keep the canadians down…” I knew that it was about curling. Funny! Pritty good for mixing on an airplane– Atleast you wern’t shopping at skymall.

  23. [...] The Ataris – My Hotel Year I could not find a direct download link to My Hotel Year The Atari’s Homepage The Atari’s Podsafe Music Page Jonathan Coulton – Curl Download Curl Jonathan Coulton’s Homepage Curl’s page on Jonathan Coulton’s site. Jonathan Coulton’s Podsafe Music Page [...]

  24. Jess from canada says:

    This is a good song.. but I do believe the Gold went to Canada!;)

  25. Jess from canada says:

    and its not called the skipper hasha.. just the skip,, but other then taht. very very good song

  26. [...] Jonathan Coulton ” Blog Archive ” Thing a Week 20 – Curl Thing a Week 20 – Curl. As some of you know, I’ve … Anyway: Curl … “bocce” has hadly anything to do w/ curl, despite the wikipedia article statement … [...]

  27. jack butchie says:

    CURLING IS NOT A SPORT you dim-whitted curling lovers. It’s right up there for excitement with Lawn Bowling, Golf and listening to a Church Sermon. I know you may have a different opinion but your opinion means nothing because you know nothing. It’s just logical. People with even a minimal IQ know curling is not a sport. It’s more like a dull, boring slow paced exercise. Slapping a yo-yo on your finger and making it go up and down is about the same thing.

    I bust a gut whenever the curlers sweep in front of the rock as it boringly and slowly moves down the ice. The person who just threw the rock, yells for them to stop, start, stop, start. It makes no sense. The curlers who are sweeping have a much better grip on what the rock is doing and know if sweeping is needed or not, than the rock tosser way back down there. In reality, there ain’t nothing there that needs to be swept away. I ain’t stupid. It’s the curlers attempt at adding excitement, somewhat like a body-check in hockey.

    Speaking of hockey (I only care about the Saskatchewan Junior Hockey League) curling needs to incorporate some kind of real activity into this nothing ever happens activity – something that might wake up the viewer. Give the fans yo-yo’s and we can watch them go up and down while they are doing the wave.

    Fights are good. “Smack, poof, pound, biff”
    Curling rule makers. Get on this. I might even watch a game now and then if I could see curlers beating the shit out of each other. Eww, it would be a hoot. I don’t know how it would work though if somebody was sent to the penalty box, since there ain’t that many players on the team. What is it four or five curlers on a team? Rule changes to add more players could fix the problem.

    As far as I can ascertain, curling requires no skill at all. All you gotta do is toss the rock at the other rocks, or try and get it real close to the big dot in the round circle. People sweep their floors at home every day, so this skill most of us already have.

    Some years ago, a team from Regina, Saskatchewan won the gold medal at the Olympics. I can’t remember the name of the team, it matters not. What does matter is who in the hell decided curling should be an Olympic sport. Pure nonsense to include it in the Olympics.

    What did we see after this win. News coverage of the team arriving home, endless boring interviews, newspaper articles non-stop on this non-event.

    The real kicker though, is one day I’m a driving down the road and I see this huge sign that read something like this:

    “Welcome to Regina, home of whoever won , Olympic Gold Medallists”.

    I could care less.

    If signs are going to be plunked down bragging that somebody or this or that team from our fair city did something great, then how can anyone in their right mind consider a gold medal in curling an achievement. Okay, great you won that medal thing. We don’t need a sign.

    The American network televising the Olympics that year did not give this so called great event any coverage. I think the Olympics were in either Melfort, Tisdale or Japan that year. Hold it, Japan. The people of Japan were down right amused at this event. I don’t think they could grasp how this event was included in the Olympics, as did most of the rest of the planet.

    Curling fans. C’mon, reply. Let’s get a lively debate going. Post your idiotic comments and let’s get a movin on this.

    Warning. You cannot survive a Battle of Whits with me. Not one single living organism on the planet, ever, has defeated my superior intellect. You will fail miserably and make a complete ass of yourself. However, it’s your ass so let’s see it.

    http://jackfmbadcommercials.blogspot.com/

  28. Kelly says:

    jack butchie,

    You should be able to spell wit before you can claim to have any. As for your post, it is obvious you have no idea what you are talking about. Just because something doesn’t make sense to you, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. You say the sweepers have a better idea of what the rock is doing? They have a better idea of the weight, and that is communicated to the two people calling line. What is easier to do, judge the line from over top of something, or standing behind the item and seeing all obstacles? As you put it, even people with minimal IQs can figure out it is the people in front and behind the line, not over top of it. You say sweeping does nothing. If that is so, then is the thrower just that good that he can put a rock exactly where he wants to? Here’s a quick example. Throw a hockey puck down an unshovelled driveway. It doesn’t go very far. No shovel a path, and it goes further. Now sweep the path and it goes even further, because the item travels faster over a warm surface. It’s a simple physics lesson.

    Curling is a sport, as it has all the elements to be a sport. There are uniforms, a ball (in this case rocks), time limits, frames (ends), rules, competitions, winners, losers, fans, and males have a distinct physical advantage over females. This is not meant to be sexist, but for something to be a true sport the average male is physically better at it than the average female. Think baseball, soccer, hockey, golf, curling, football, weight lifting, running, high jump, etc. as examples. Things that are not sports include, poker, darts, race car driving, fire fighting and bocce. They are all skills or hobbies, but not a sport.

    Jack, you lose.

  29. Thanks. I liked your post, do you have more like this? The topic needs lots of research, most people don’t have it.

  30. aimeebeff says:

    When we started a curling team in college, I got my then-boyfriend (now-husband) a sweatshirt that said “MSU Curling” on the front and “Skipper” on the back, which he wore happily until it was pointed out that the actual name of the team captain is “Skip”. But now, he can wear it again and if anyone points out the mistake, we can say it’s an homage to this song! This is a much better curling anthem for our old team than “Hammer Time” was.

  31. diva girl 123 785 says:

    Canadas gonna win this year i just know it

  32. Kymaro says:

    With the competition starting today, there’s mixed feelings on how to watch and enjoy the sport. On one hand, it’s a team of people who are trying to glide a stone instrument across a long sheet of ice in order to put it into a scoring position and it sounds like a typical spectator sport. However, when first viewed it can look a bit slow when it comes to actual game play. Still, once one turns to that channel, it’s hard not to watch due to it being intriguing.