Jonathan Coulton

The Little Gray Books show went fine, thanks for asking. I’m hoping to get an mp3 of the former-partners-in-crime love song duet that happened posted soon. There was some lovely schtick with a teddy bear stuffed with diamonds in the middle, long story. For those who like a good read and some photos to go along with it, check out the coverage here on the Blottered.

Lili pointed out a terrible oversight on my part, which is that I failed to offer babydoll t-shirts in my collection of Jonathan Coulton themed merchandise. All you sexy downtown girls who were holding out because you didn’t want to look all frumpy in a regular woman’s shirt may now proceed to get it on, babydoll style.

Had a lovely rehearsal tonight with Adam Stein of The Petersons in preparation for the big show on Thursday. I was reminded that he is a clever man and a fine performer of funny things. Maybe you should go see these Petersons at Caroline’s on June 20th. They rock.

Also (OMG! So much news!), podcast seven is now posted. You may notice that these things are getting longer and longer as we spiral out of control. If you listen very closely, you will catch the cacauphonous 45-minute “Song of the Presidents” which I played with the Hungry March Band at the most recent Little Gray Books. Even now I am tensing up and holding my breath thinking about the poor quality of this recording, not to mention what is perhaps the worst acoustic guitar tone I have ever heard. I would like to point out that this performance was rehearsed only in theoretical discussions with one or two members, and that what you hear in this recording was really the first time we had all played together. That band is a fine collection of talented folks, which is the only reason it came off at all.

We have promised to provide content Every Once In A While, and again we have kept that promise. A new Little Gray Books Podcast has been posted, and there will be another one tomorrow. They are both meant to lead up to a new Little Gray Books show which is happening Thursday June 16 at 7:30 PM at Galapagos in Williamsburg Brooklyn. The subject is “How to Commit the Perfect Crime.” I am currently working on a partners-in-crime duet with my friend Adam Stein of The Petersons, which I hope will be funny. Maybe I will see some of you there…

Many of you have asked me for a way to quickly and easily move money out of your wallets and into the hands of companies who make T-shirts. I hear and obey: you may now purchase Jonathan Coulton themed merchandise from my online store at cafepress.com. At the moment, we have mostly T-shirts, but there is one sticker if you like that sort of thing. Don’t put it on your Mom’s furniture, kids, because it will stick there.

Most of the shirts have a choice lyric from one of your favorite JC songs on the front and a small tri-color smoking monkey graphic on the back (from the Smoking Monkey CD artwork). Some of them also have tiny pictures of giant squids, or Mandelbrot Sets. If there is a lyric you’ve always wanted to have on a shirt (or a mug, a tote bag or a pair of thong underwear), please let me know and I will make such an item available to you. Otherwise, go on and buy that stuff!

Here’s a site that offers some techniques for communicating effectively during tense conversations – Quick Verbal Tactics. My favorite example of the technique in action is Scenario #7 The Bully.

Bully: Shoves you and mumbles, “Jerk.”

You: “Why did you say that?” (respect question)

Bully: Shoving you again, he says “Because you’re a jerk.”

You: “I can’t allow you to keep doing that.” (outcome statement)

Bully: “Oh yeah?? What are you going to do about it?”

You: “Whatever you force me to do.” (outcome statement)

Bully: “Wanna fight?!”

You: “I’m not interested in fighting you.” (outcome statement)

Bully: “We’ve got a chicken here!”

You: “Why are you angry with me?” (respect question)

No kidding, this is where it ends. As if it’s RESOLVED. As if the bully is now so wowed by your respect for his feelings, and your stern declarations of outcome that he’s all “Oh forget about it you crazy kid, I love you!” Or this one from Scenario #9 The “Come Here” Jerk:

Them: “Come here.”

You: “Why?” (respect question)

Aha! Gotcha! Didn’t think I was going to ask why you want me to come over there, did you? Well I’m asking, sucker, I’m asking. It’s so great to finally have a good response for “Come Here” jerks like that. Here is Scenario #5 The Manipulative Gossip (I have added the third line myself, for completeness and accuracy):

Gossip: “I’m not saying I do, but some people here think that you’re a suck-up.”

You: “What do you gain by telling me that?” (respect question)

Gossip: “Fuck you, suck-up.”