Six Word Memoir
July 9th, 2009
UPDATE: So many great ideas, it’s hard to pick just one six-word memoir. I think I should have six six-word memoirs, that should be a thing. There is one that has become my favorite because it makes me laugh out loud, and it also captures a little bit of that “I am unable or unwilling to be a grown-up and have a real job” feeling. “For sale: adult shoes, never worn.” It’s a reference to Hemingway’s six-word story, “For sale: baby shoes, never worn” (which may or may not be real but is famous anyway). It was submitted by Tim Canny, who, if he will email me a mailing address, will receive a free DVD from me. Thanks everyone for thinking on it, this was a lot of fun.
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The coffee shop I frequent here in Brooklyn is filled with lots of other people who are, like me, using it as an office. I can’t imagine the work that everyone else is doing is quite as important as my own work, which is mostly avoiding the OTHER work that I have to do, but they all seem pretty busy. There is one person in particular who is always there before I arrive and after I leave, and who does not seem to be merely reloading Twitter every couple of minutes. In fact he is working on his media empire: you may know it as SmithMag, and that might be because you have heard of the Six Word Memoir. This fellow and I – let’s call him “Larry Smith” – Larry Smith and I were talking about the Six Word Memoir and he suggested I contribute one for his book about same. Let me tell you, it’s hard. Just take a look at the ones that people have submitted, some of them are sort of brilliant. In its perfect form, it’s kind of like the punchline of a joke, where something very small and specific suddenly expands in your mind to sum up a life story. OK, now do that for your own life. Actually, stop, do it for mine instead.
I asked Twitter to help me out on this and got some great responses. From a quick scan, here are some of my favorites:
@meaghano: Sorry didn’t get to this sooner.
@awryone: Should have left that pimple alone.
@mehuman: Already peaked with song from portal.
@petersagal: Vanished after failing as IT professional.
@aaronfever: I need someone to work merchandise.
@colleenky: Should not be trusted with cats.
@paulandstorm: Paul and Storm just won’t leave. (Note how even MY six word memoir is somehow ABOUT THEM.)
@unmodisch: Internet pioneer, domesticated money-pooping cow.
also @paulandstorm: Dear Internet: thanks for…well, everything.
@marmotry: Liked cold baths with Angela Lansbury.
also @unmodisch: Phase one: music. Phase three: profit!
@scottknaster: Couldn’t write own six word memoir.
And they continue to trickle in. Boy do I love the hive mind! Since I don’t want the blog readers who are not on Twitter to miss out on the fun, I’ll take suggestions here in the comments as well. A couple of things I didn’t know until I started getting suggestions: I probably will avoid using my own lyrics for this, and ideally this will not be about me being dead. Though it’s only six words, it would be nice to somehow capture the collaborative nature of my rise to online semi-celebrity, by which I mean that while I owe the internet plenty already, it would be fun and appropriate if you also did this work for me. By Tuesday.
OK, back to tweeting about sandwiches and pretending to be on vacation.
“….at night, the ice weasels come….”
Geeks steal music, “Creative Commons” redundant.
dang, I wish it was 7 words.
ALL YOUR TUNES, ARE BELONG TO US.
Here are a few. Not very good, but hey, I tried.
“Music from unique points of view.”
“Creative Commons, but far from common.”
“Jonathan Coulton: Now with sad vampires!”
“The mad scientist of folk music.”
“Why stop at just six words?”
Borderline lyrics option:
“Baby got back on a jetplane.”
Not me, it was my monkey
A man, an artist, a fool.
Did no one pick:
“This monkey shines wherever it goes”?
Ooh, how ’bout “Snails are Fibonacci’s mollusk of choice”!
Found Fame Bringing Reason to Rhyme
‘Still regretting never learning to count properly.”
“Lots of laughs; mostly my expense.”
Maybe I used too many monkeys.
“With big warm fuzzy secret heart”
Or
“Code Monkey just waiting for now”
The internet is, therefore I am.
Jonathan Coulton: eats shoots and leaves.
Free music, comedy, and Creative Commons
Money for nothin’, monkeys for free.
Thought about self while baby born.
Everybody loves monkeys … and robots too.
Prosthelytizes free art, really just poor.
Geeky male teen angst really sells.
Visual Basic sucks, geeky songs rule.
Come on muse, more office jokes!
One week, one song, one dollar.
I wrote songs about monkeys.
There’s monkey shines wherever you go.
Well, OK…but no eyes, right?
Re: your eyes: I lied. Tasty.
Do three hyphenated words count? They-should.
Seeing as how you were a programmer and then became a full-time musician and I’m a full-time programmer that is also a musician, my 6-word legacy could work for you as well:
geek by day, rockstar by night
Still Alive. Still Alive? Still ALIVE!
(Does that count as 6 words?)
Geeks gone viral. I’m the man.
Awe-inspiring master of extrapolative folk.
(Folk tunes? Folk brains? You decide.)
– CJH / esper
Still waiting on my DVD!
Should I resend my mailing address?
Wake me up when September ends
I’m a little late for this, but here’s my entry:
The best in terms of pants.