I have a beautiful white bowl like that one; I feed my cats loaves of disgusting fish-meat-byproducts in it.

Ah, now I understand the unwillingness to come to Memphis.

I’d never heard the theory that wacky rider clauses were actually to make sure the people in charge at the venue were actually reading the fine print. I always just assumed it was strictly an ego/power trip thing.

If I ever had the chance to make a rider, seriously, I’d probably ask for a representative sampling of cool local products–you know, if the city is known for its special beers, angora wool, or hand-blown glass objects. It would be a good way to get a flavor of the town I’m performing in even though I probably won’t see much apart from the airport, the freeway, and the venue.

The Smoking Gun does have a large collection of riders, some of which are amusing. Metallica, for example, insist forcefully on bacon with every meal, and Paul McCartney was fairly particular about the floral arrangements he wanted delivered backstage.

I was working with a nonprofit many years ago that was considering hiring Tom Paxton to do a benefit (unfortunately, we decided it would cost too much), but I got to see his rider. The most he asked for in the catering department was a pitcher of water.

Was this the “Hey! Who ate my sandwich!?” kind of mistake or the “Nom nom nom… OMGWTFBBQ!?” type of mistake?

Possibly the best rider of all time, though, is Iggy Pop’s - I’m having trouble reaching the Smoking Gun site at the moment, but here’s their blurb about it from Google cache:

Lust For Laughs
Iggy Pop’s concert rider funniest in rock history?

OCTOBER 4– As if you need another reason to love Iggy Pop, the veteran rocker (and his band The Stooges) have the single most entertaining concert rider TSG has ever obtained. The document–all 18 pages of which you’ll find below–describes Iggy’s requirements in terms of amplifiers, security, lighting, stage set up, and dressing rooms. But unlike most similar documents, Iggy’s rider is written in a rollicking, stream-of-consciousness fashion that delivers multiple laughs per page. Apparently written by roadie Jos Grain, the Iggy rider is peppered with witty gems, tasteless asides, and typos. For example, in describing how Iggy’s dressing room should be made to “look less like a typical rock & roll dressing room,” the rider suggests that promoters “just let someone loose with a little bit of artistic flair…Er, do you know any homosexuals?” Explaining the need for two heavy duty fans, Grain notes, “So that I can wear a scarf and pretend to be in a Bon Jovi video.” Also, don’t miss the backstage requirement of a Bob Hope impersonator for Mr. Pop. (18 pages)

BTW, I heard a clip from “Ikea” on the radio today. It was WCBS NewsRadio 880 AM and they were teasing the story about some guy who’s going to live in an IKEA store for a week. They used the song to intro the tease.

Woo Hoo! JoCo goes Mainstream!

You’re a STAR, JoCo! You don’t have to put up with that. If you *order* fried peanut butter and banana you should *get* fried peanut butter and banana.

-sv