Eric sends in this great JoCo infomercial. They’re all out of love; they’re so lost without me.
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I know just how to podcast
And I know just how to surf
I know just where to YouTube
And I know it’s JoCo’s turf
I know just how to mashup
And I know just how to stream
I know just when to Facebook
And then I know when to blaspheme
And I know just where to trackback
And I know just what’s on myspace
I know when to use bittorrent
And I know when Eventful’s the place
And I know Thing-A-Week has ended
And I know his head is still full of thoughts
And I’m never gonna have all the monkponies that I want
But I know I’ve got to give him robots
But I don’t know how to stop this
And I realize it is getting lame
And I don’t know if it’s funny
Making fun of old lyrics great fame.
JC, dude, I beg of you. Please throw us a song or two. Surely you’ve recorded something new in the past 6 months, no? Whaddaya want, money or something?
Me too. I chanced on a seahorse video on YouTube today that showed a seahorse daddy giving birth. The narrator commented that one type of food that’s just about perfect for baby seahorses is the common brine shrimp, which most people are familiar with as “sea monkeys.” My god, how many levels of connection ARE there in this video? I was thinking…
Clearly, the JoCo jones has become nearly too much for all of us.
Do we think begging will work?
No, we do not.
Do we want JoCo to make a living producing phenomenal music with a beautiful business model?
Yes, we do. Very much.
Do any of us possess a princely state or empire to which we might appoint JoCo Court Musician?
I rather doubt it.
Therefore, and herewith, a modest proposal (two actually) for patronage in the age of The Series of Tubes:
(1) Web widget in which we put money where our jones is. Rather than promising to pay $1 for a download, we declare in advance the amount of money each of us, individually, is willing to fork out upon delivery of a new song. We watch the pot grow. As it does, JoCo’s “cruelty” become not just increasingly apparent, but increasingly financially disadvantageous to him. This seems a reasonable method for the Capture of the Energy of the Obsessed. In the sense that those of us who would spend $5 on a Triple Half-Caf Caramel Macchiato would surely pay more than $1 for a JoCo song. Indeed, probably many of us who would NOT pay such fees for a single-use license of a cup of coffee would pay more than $1 for a JoCo song.
A corollary: Same idea, simpler execution: new forum topic in which we declare, individually, whether we will purchase and submit a banana, monkey or robot on the delivery of a new song.
A caveat: Naturally, this would operate on the honor system. Those who failed to deliver on their promise would be flayed and fed to my hungry childred.
An observation: This might — especially if it worked particularly well — attract some more of that boingslashboingdot-type publicity.
An alternative: To avoid problems mentioned, supra, under “caveat,” establish a PayPal escrow account. If these do not exist, invent one.
A side thought: I suppose JoCo would have to “agree” to this scheme. Although, maybe not. Perhaps if the pot got big enough he would change his mind.
All self-consciously pretentious stylings aside, I don’t mean to suggest JoCo’s a damn jukebox or anything. But, maybe this would be a way to make the rabidness (rabidity?) of the warrior robot race offset any (current) limits in its size?
I certainly would pay at least a couple of Starbucks for some fresh soft rocking.
p.s. Has anyone ever auctioned an as-yet-unwritten song on ebay? Wouldn’t yield the same financial results, but great publicity stunt. Sort of a twist on the Harvey Danger cover stunt.
Come on, guys, the man is touring and has a little kid. Songwriting is tough at the best of times, and he just gave us a year of superhuman effort. Surely you can’t be out of projects to do with the existing 80+ songs. Remix them over some Herb Alpert or something.
As a recovering “Pillow Talk with Alan Almond” listener (I was a weird kid in high school), I am a closet Air Supply fan and this cracked me up. Especially when Graham was holding the album in hand.
In regards to jonesing for new JoCo, I understand the sentiment. Goodness only knows I’ve watched the same episode of “The Show with Ze Frank” over and over again just to hear JoCo cover new tunes (Hey, JC, how about an extended version of “Why Does Everything Have to Change?” It totally soft rocked along the lines of “You Ruined Everything.” When you do make that kids album, it can go under the category of A Healthy Dose of Love-laced Guilt. Good stuff!). It’s a testament to JC’s songwriting ability that I can listen to most of the TAW stuff and still not be bored with it.
I am sure new stuff will come, touring is not the easiest thing ever, I’m sure. And de-evolved, I hear what you are saying - the best way to show our love and support is to put our money where our ears and hearts are and give him the financial room to do that. At the same time, Jess does have a point, the current JoCo catalog is comparable to a lifetime of work for many other (and lesser) artists.
I’m still saving pop cans for a robot - but it’s on its way!
de-evolved: Aw, I know. But still… superhuman effort up in here. I say this as someone who lives with a songwriter and sees the blood-sweating. Let us all take this hiatus as a time to buy robots and make videos (if you have the talent; I don’t).
This is an extremely creatinve idea. I know someday that infomercial will be seen by all. You are shoting for the stars. You’ve already made it to the moon.
Sparky: I would pay for a chia Coulton. Seriously. I mean, he already has the pretty fuffy brown curly hair, I think his head would adopt well into Chia form.
March 16th, 2007 at 7:02 am
I’m highly amused.
March 16th, 2007 at 7:42 am
That makes me extremely happy.
March 16th, 2007 at 10:07 am
I’ve got your love and its a perfect reason for understanding life some more.
March 16th, 2007 at 10:12 am
I know just how to podcast
And I know just how to surf
I know just where to YouTube
And I know it’s JoCo’s turf
I know just how to mashup
And I know just how to stream
I know just when to Facebook
And then I know when to blaspheme
And I know just where to trackback
And I know just what’s on myspace
I know when to use bittorrent
And I know when Eventful’s the place
And I know Thing-A-Week has ended
And I know his head is still full of thoughts
And I’m never gonna have all the monkponies that I want
But I know I’ve got to give him robots
But I don’t know how to stop this
And I realize it is getting lame
And I don’t know if it’s funny
Making fun of old lyrics great fame.
March 16th, 2007 at 11:16 am
JC, dude, I beg of you. Please throw us a song or two. Surely you’ve recorded something new in the past 6 months, no? Whaddaya want, money or something?
March 16th, 2007 at 11:46 am
I, too, miss the elegant soft rock sounds of JC.
March 16th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Me too. I chanced on a seahorse video on YouTube today that showed a seahorse daddy giving birth. The narrator commented that one type of food that’s just about perfect for baby seahorses is the common brine shrimp, which most people are familiar with as “sea monkeys.” My god, how many levels of connection ARE there in this video? I was thinking…
March 16th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Clearly, the JoCo jones has become nearly too much for all of us.
Do we think begging will work?
No, we do not.
Do we want JoCo to make a living producing phenomenal music with a beautiful business model?
Yes, we do. Very much.
Do any of us possess a princely state or empire to which we might appoint JoCo Court Musician?
I rather doubt it.
Therefore, and herewith, a modest proposal (two actually) for patronage in the age of The Series of Tubes:
(1) Web widget in which we put money where our jones is. Rather than promising to pay $1 for a download, we declare in advance the amount of money each of us, individually, is willing to fork out upon delivery of a new song. We watch the pot grow. As it does, JoCo’s “cruelty” become not just increasingly apparent, but increasingly financially disadvantageous to him. This seems a reasonable method for the Capture of the Energy of the Obsessed. In the sense that those of us who would spend $5 on a Triple Half-Caf Caramel Macchiato would surely pay more than $1 for a JoCo song. Indeed, probably many of us who would NOT pay such fees for a single-use license of a cup of coffee would pay more than $1 for a JoCo song.
A corollary: Same idea, simpler execution: new forum topic in which we declare, individually, whether we will purchase and submit a banana, monkey or robot on the delivery of a new song.
A caveat: Naturally, this would operate on the honor system. Those who failed to deliver on their promise would be flayed and fed to my hungry childred.
An observation: This might — especially if it worked particularly well — attract some more of that boingslashboingdot-type publicity.
An alternative: To avoid problems mentioned, supra, under “caveat,” establish a PayPal escrow account. If these do not exist, invent one.
A side thought: I suppose JoCo would have to “agree” to this scheme. Although, maybe not. Perhaps if the pot got big enough he would change his mind.
All self-consciously pretentious stylings aside, I don’t mean to suggest JoCo’s a damn jukebox or anything. But, maybe this would be a way to make the rabidness (rabidity?) of the warrior robot race offset any (current) limits in its size?
I certainly would pay at least a couple of Starbucks for some fresh soft rocking.
p.s. Has anyone ever auctioned an as-yet-unwritten song on ebay? Wouldn’t yield the same financial results, but great publicity stunt. Sort of a twist on the Harvey Danger cover stunt.
March 16th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Come on, guys, the man is touring and has a little kid. Songwriting is tough at the best of times, and he just gave us a year of superhuman effort. Surely you can’t be out of projects to do with the existing 80+ songs. Remix them over some Herb Alpert or something.
March 16th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Jess: uh-oh. I trust we all intended our comments as expressions of enthusiasm/support and not pressure! I know I did.
March 16th, 2007 at 8:33 pm
Hey everyone and JC!
As a recovering “Pillow Talk with Alan Almond” listener (I was a weird kid in high school), I am a closet Air Supply fan and this cracked me up. Especially when Graham was holding the album in hand.
In regards to jonesing for new JoCo, I understand the sentiment. Goodness only knows I’ve watched the same episode of “The Show with Ze Frank” over and over again just to hear JoCo cover new tunes (Hey, JC, how about an extended version of “Why Does Everything Have to Change?” It totally soft rocked along the lines of “You Ruined Everything.” When you do make that kids album, it can go under the category of A Healthy Dose of Love-laced Guilt. Good stuff!). It’s a testament to JC’s songwriting ability that I can listen to most of the TAW stuff and still not be bored with it.
I am sure new stuff will come, touring is not the easiest thing ever, I’m sure. And de-evolved, I hear what you are saying - the best way to show our love and support is to put our money where our ears and hearts are and give him the financial room to do that. At the same time, Jess does have a point, the current JoCo catalog is comparable to a lifetime of work for many other (and lesser) artists.
I’m still saving pop cans for a robot - but it’s on its way!
^_^ Liza
March 17th, 2007 at 9:17 am
de-evolved: Aw, I know. But still… superhuman effort up in here. I say this as someone who lives with a songwriter and sees the blood-sweating. Let us all take this hiatus as a time to buy robots and make videos (if you have the talent; I don’t).
March 17th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
So if we we order the boxed set, will we get Ginsu knives or something?
March 18th, 2007 at 3:04 am
No Ginsu, but I think you will get a Chia Coulton. Don’t forget to water it!
March 18th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
This is an extremely creatinve idea. I know someday that infomercial will be seen by all. You are shoting for the stars. You’ve already made it to the moon.
March 19th, 2007 at 8:14 am
Sparky: I would pay for a chia Coulton. Seriously. I mean, he already has the pretty fuffy brown curly hair, I think his head would adopt well into Chia form.
JoCo, your fandom demands Chia Coulton heads!
March 19th, 2007 at 10:51 am
Puts the supple back in Air Supply.