Comments on: Gimme Some Candy

By: Michael

Michael — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 21:36:42 +0000

But it doesn’t mean my monkey doesn’t love you…

By: Amanda H.

Amanda H. — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 02:25:48 +0000

I will buy you a monkey, sir.
…Eventually.
Sometime.
Probably.
If I remember.

Ok, lemme rephrase that.
I have every intention of buying you a monkey, but most likely will not remember. Sorry. :/

By: Eric Ginsberg

Eric Ginsberg — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 00:18:47 +0000

Now you really will love us ’til the monkey comes.

By: Glenn

Glenn — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 22:17:56 +0000

How much for just the ruined pony?

By: Aspera

Aspera — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 22:13:26 +0000

Half-monkey half-robot monster? That’s silly Would that cost $17.50, $35 or more for the multiple monkeys used and the extra work to earn the moster certification….

By: Glenn

Glenn — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 20:27:45 +0000

Nooo — now my monkey is gone, too!

Well, they say every monkey needs alone time to eat bananas in the sunshine.

By: Chris Radcliff

Chris Radcliff — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 20:14:53 +0000

Chalk one up for the monkeys, then.

Read them off, and this might be the next Internet dance craze: monkey, banana, monkey, banana, monkey, banana, ROBOT! ROBOT!

By: Glenn

Glenn — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 19:58:49 +0000

Dammit, I made my own robot disappear.

By: Aspera

Aspera — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 19:01:20 +0000

As the 11th Donor, it is my priviledge to claim the honor of the monkey that made Joco’s banana disapear. The monkey says it was delicious. There are two more bananas on the board. How about two more monkeys to eat them?

By: Scarybug

Scarybug — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 15:46:38 +0000

I’d like Ze’s candy better if he let you hyperlink the duckies. That turns it from a donation to a tiny bit of advertising without an actual annoying ad.

By: Damon

Damon — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 03:35:46 +0000

Modern Portfolio Theory and the Efficient Monkey Hypothesis tell us there is an optimal mix of banana/monkey/robot holdings that will produce the most world domination for a given level of evil-geniusness. The true challenge is to be found in calculating the covariance of banana peels and monkey poo.

Squids are considered part of the Grey (Slimy) Market and are not usually reported as part of the GDP (Gross Disgusting Playthings) or tracked in any paper other than the St. Louis Post-Examiner.

By: Fred

Fred — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 03:29:50 +0000

I think it’s long been established that Trader Joebot is/was/will be simply just another banana-swilling monkey in a tin suit. Whether he is/was/will be under the the thumb of the multinational corporations, or the-whatever-it-is-that-squids-have-instead-of-thumbs of the multinational squids…well, that remains to be seen. I wouldn’t presume to go all Nostradamus on the issue here.

I think the point I’m making is that you can’t count bananas out just yet.

Or maybe that’s not the point I’m making. This is all very silly, and I’m still more than a little confused.

The important thing, if I understand this correctly, is that we give young Mr. Coulton our money. Or our robots. Whichever we have closer at hand.

By: Garrick Van Buren .com » Monetizing Robots, Duckies, and Amanda

Garrick Van Buren .com » Monetizing Robots, Duckies, and Amanda — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 01:54:07 +0000

[...] Modern day troubadour Jonathan Coulton is the latest cult-of-personality on Ze Frank’s GimmeSomeCandy micropayment platform. [...]

By: Glenn

Glenn — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 01:01:03 +0000

The mad scientists will cross the monkeys with fast-breeding shrimp and jellyfish. This will sustain the cybersquid army. The last bananas and papayas will be picked by the Trader Joebot in the year 2072. Deprived of their primary nutrient, the menace of the atomic lemurs will finally die off in August of that year.

By: Fred

Fred — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 00:54:05 +0000

You’re still going to need bananas — I’m sorry cyber-bananas — to feed them all. You’re living in a pipe dream if you think future squid can live on monkey meat alone.

It’s bananas that are the true investment. Or maybe papayas.

See, now I’m confused.

By: minimo

minimo — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 00:51:37 +0000

Monkeys start at about $2000.
You can buy a floor vacuuming robot for about $100.
That makes monkeys worth more, in my book.

By: Glenn

Glenn — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 00:26:51 +0000

He’d better hurry up before the monkey eats those bananas and the robots try to cyberize the monkey. Good thing there’s no ponies up there.

Robot monkeys are the future. The present, of course, is giant squid.

The far future will belong to the cybersquid.

By: Spiff

Spiff — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 00:05:37 +0000

Looks like it’s working. JC is $75 richer (as of a couple of seconds ago), and he hasn’t even put out any new music. The man’s a genius!

By: Jeremy Henty

Jeremy Henty — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 23:28:58 +0000

Chris, I strongly advise you to invest in monkeys now before the impending crash in robot futures. You’ll make a killing in the ensuing frenzy of speculation. The future is monkeys!

By: Glenn

Glenn — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 23:17:01 +0000

I can only assume squid will be of the final rung. Maybe just above mad scientists.

By: Will Ross

Will Ross — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 23:16:57 +0000

Robots cost more because they have flux capacitors, where as monkeys run on bananular power cells.

Bought a roh bit because slow dancin to drinking with you got me some naked hugging of the intercourse variety. Thats worth at least 25 bones.

By: Chris Radcliff

Chris Radcliff — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 23:02:34 +0000

I’m new to the concept, but is there some reason why robots are more expensive than monkeys? I kinda like monkeys better, myself.

By: Matt

Matt — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 22:47:38 +0000

I’m certainly not complaining. Worlds have been overthrown and civilizations enslaved with far less sophisticated robots. While everybody is questioning the effectiveness of cardboard robots, they’re able take out the world’s leadership infrustructure relatively unnoticed while keeping the overlord’s milk nice and fresh.

By: Glenn

Glenn — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 22:44:54 +0000

Incidentally, as a youth, I did make a robot out of a milk carton. Admittedly, he didn’t do anything, but robotics technology was pretty new.

By: Glenn

Glenn — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 22:38:07 +0000

What, no squid?

By: JC

JC — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 22:32:09 +0000

Um, yeah? Cuz that’s how you make a robot?

By: Matt

Matt — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 22:23:38 +0000

Is it just me, or does the robot look like a reel to reel tape player made out of a milk carton?

By: Mattie

Mattie — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 21:44:50 +0000

Woo! First non-Coulton purchased banana!