Please Please Cancel My Account

Here’s a recording (if that link’s swamped, here’s a mirror) of a guy trying to cancel his AOL account. Now THAT is funny. Thanks Dr. Smith…

69 Responses to “Please Please Cancel My Account”

  1. Glenn Says:

    Tried the mirror first, got bandwidth exceeded. Sigh. First link seems to work, although slow.

  2. Glenn Says:

    Spoke too soon. It looks like that URL is redirecting to his home page.

  3. Dana Huff Says:

    How true was that? They’re harder to get away from than the mafia.

  4. Simon E. Says:

    If you’re going to take down a website like that, at least use a coral cache of the file (link works last time I checked):
    http://frank.e.barrett.googlepages.com.nyud.net:8090/aolcancellationeditfinal.mp3

  5. Carol Says:

    I attempted twice to cancel AOL on speakerphone at work, just so my co-workers could laugh at their ridiculous antics with me. It was fun and annoying at the same time.

  6. Craig Says:

    I went through the same thing when I canceled my AOL account. Then, a “manager” called me back the next evening to try to talk me into “un-cancelling” the account. Crazy.

  7. Jeremy Says:

    Will there be a JoCo “Please Cancel My Account” song? Then people could just call up AOL and play it over the phone, and it would save everyone a lot of aggravation.

  8. CFossa Says:

    Go through this with Nextel. They do this. XP

  9. sorny Says:

    Oh god. I’m going to be making this same call later on today. I hope that I can stay strong.

  10. barkrock Says:

    Heaven help you if you’re not very persistant or saavy! I tried to cancel my elderly parent’s account (they never used it) 2 years ago. I found out a couple months back that they were still charging my father’s credit card, for a service supposedly cancelled and not used in well over a year!

  11. Randy Mendicino Says:

    I, too, had a tangle with aol.They refused to cancel my account and made me jump through hoops of fire before I could rid myself of them.They also kept charging on an account my wife and I had with them.and refused to stop.Since, I always make it a practice to never use anything associated with aol (kind of hard but worth it).I also spread the news to others and do my best to make sure no one I know uses them either.I’ll also tell buissiness owners of aol’s reputation and recomend them not advertise for them at all.I’m glad to see the rest of the world is on to their slimy corporate ways.

  12. dustin Says:

    Many years back I tried to cancel AOL. Supposedly canceled it, but kept getting charged. Called back to cancel again and same thing happened. Finally took a third call to cancel the damn thing. I was also supposed to get a credit for the extra month I got charged and never did, but by then I had enough.

  13. KaTrina Says:

    I too had a HORRIBLE experience with trying to cancel an AOL account. I tried to cancel the account on 12/14/2005 and am still fighting charges that were billed. I purchases a new computer that came with 6 month free AOL. I decided to try the service. I had trouble w/the installation & called AOL on 9/10/05. The representative I spoke w/created my screen name and AOL password then walked me through the setup process. They told me the billing would start in April 2006 & they needed my credit card information on file. Imagine my surprise when I saw a monthly charge from AOL to my credit card on 11/12/05 AND 12/10/05. I called AOL on 12/14/05 to dispute these charges & to cancel the account. I spoke to representative Zach who informed me AOL no notatations or evidence of the phone call I placed on 9/10/05. I told Zach I didn’t understand how that was possible since it was AOL that actually created my Screen Name AND password. Zach told me the only way I could dispute the charges would be to send a letter of dispute to AOL and there was nothing further he could assist me with. At that point I told Zach I wanted to cancel the account since it was obvious it was set up under “false” pretences. Zach transferred me to the cancellation department and I spoke with Danny. Danny was the RUDEST, most arrogant, most insulting customer service representative I’ve ever had the displeasure of speaking with. HE single handedly is the reason I would NEVER consider returning to AOL or ever recommend their service to anyone. Danny told me that it obvious I only want to cancel the account because I have trouble paying my bills. During our conversation, I requested to speark to his supervisor and/or manager on more than 8 occasions. Danny refused to give me the name of one and also refused to transfer me. He repeatedly asked me why I wanted to speak to one and I informed him I wanted to place a formal complaint about how insulting and humiliating he was being towards me. His response was “Mam, AOL doesn’t care about those kinds of complaints and is only concerned about me doing my job!” Danny hung up on me and I called back 4 additional times and each time was given a different address to send a letter of dispute to. AOL has not responded to any of the 4 letters I sent (I sent a copy of the letter to all 4 addresses I was given). They have turned my account over to collections and still send me offers to come back.

  14. markdaycomedy Says:

    And now the inevitable parody video…..

    cancel my Playboy account….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbjUnz64ywc

  15. zach Says:

    i wnt my aol account cancelled completely

  16. zach Says:

    cancel mmy account,not just a new screen name

  17. Diana Morgan Says:

    I need to put my account on hold. I am moving but not into my new address until mid December. What do I do?

  18. MONICA jONES Says:

    i WANT TO START ALL OVER WITH A NEW ACCOUNT HAD SOME DIFFICULTY LOGGING IN

  19. gaby Says:

    can you please cancel my myspace my mom and dad said i can’t have one

  20. Robert G. Porter Says:

    My underwtanding is that AOL no longer charges for using their services. I am still being charged $14.95 a month on my

    My understanding is that AOL so longer charges for using their services. I am still being charged $14.95 per month on my Visa credit card. Please cease charging me each month. If you persist in this I will advise Visa to no longer honer your charges.Please advise me by return mail that these charges have been canceled.

    Robert G Porter
    okbob362@aol.com

  21. aida Says:

    Can anyone of you privede me the number to Cancel my AOL account.
    I have been on the websit and can’t locate a number or an address.
    If you could provide both number and address do appricate your help..

  22. aida Says:

    I need AOL’s Cancelletion department, there number & address.
    Thank you

    aida0769@yahoo.com

  23. vera cyntia andrade cruz Says:

    i want my hi5 account cancelled completely. tank you

  24. rosey Says:

    i need to restart my account coz there’s a problem with my account when i need to delete some message or when i need to delete any thing, it dosen’t work

  25. edwina Says:

    plz cancell my accont on hi5 i dont want to be a member any more .

  26. john rayner Says:

    the billing is going up and up every month and i wish to cancel this is tipical of this rip off society that we now live in everybody is trying toscrew everybody else

  27. john a messier Says:

    just cancel my account any questions call me 401-934-1768

  28. batoot elbatoot Says:

    i want to cancel my account on hi5 i don’t want to be a member anymore

  29. rasheda Says:

    Please cancel my account

  30. mike Says:

    please cancel my account in hi5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  31. pallavi Says:

    please cancel my account!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wanna make a new one

  32. Jonathan Coulton » Blog Archive » Funny Google Thing Says:

    [...] I have been watching with some amusement the growing number of comments at this old post of mine (about the recording of that guy trying to cancel his AOL account) from people who are actually trying to cancel some kind of account. I guess I can see how you could make that mistake if you were really not an internet person, but I really couldn’t figure out how everyone was finding their way to that post. But this morning I googled “cancel my account” and guess what’s the number one result? Thanks Google. [...]

  33. Brett Says:

    Hey JC, looks like you might have the making of a new internet business on your hands here. Global Account Cancellation Services. So when you’re not busy writing new songs and performing all over the country, you can hang around on the phone cancelling accounts for other people. :)

  34. matthew Says:

    Please cancel my JoCo account. I was promised soft rocking, but have received nothing but gentle folking. To hell with your shenanigans, Jonathan!

  35. Ken Says:

    This kinda reminds me of those anonymous “apology” or “confessions” lines, only with cancellations.

  36. ambush Says:

    look at the websites they link to…

  37. M_Pony Says:

    somebody at Google loves you, Jonathan.
    you also get this same link if you type in “cancel my hi5 account”

    Maybe you could email them and tell them to stop being evil.

    (by the way people, this is not where you go to cancel any kind of account. Please try elsewhere)

  38. roosoo Says:

    please cancel my account i have an account and i want it cancelled cancelled i dont want any account to anything anymore isnt that really suicide cancelling all my accounts is suicide for all practical purposes

  39. Spong BoB Says:

    I want to cancel my pickle cunsumption. Its turning my poop green can someone help me. its horrible i am slowly losing friends on my myspace do to this error in character.

  40. wow Says:

    Please cancel my blogger account I hate it

  41. manstraw Says:

    please cancel my account to thing a week. aol refused to do it. it was ‘in my best interests’ to keep it they said. i told them. the damn thing a week thing hasn’t worked for a really long time now anyway. i almost hand them convinced, and then they asked to speak to my dad, and now I’m grounded.

  42. Missy Says:

    Good instructions on how to cancel AOL are here:

    http://anti-aol.livejournal.com/8911.html

  43. jana Says:

    I want to cancel my hi5 account

  44. jana Says:

    hi5 is not nice at all

  45. Judy Jackson Says:

    cancel my account in its entirety

  46. ali sanad Says:

    I want to cancel my hi5 account 4 ever

    but i cant

  47. Kevin Says:

    There’s this guy I know… and I want to cancel his account.
    Can I do that here?

  48. Donald L. DeWitt Says:

    lI’m dying of cancer and want to cancel my account with aol.

    Have decided to go with NETZERO.com to save some mone./

  49. Donald L. DeWitt Says:

    You make it so impossible to even die.

    Please stop it.

    Don DeWott

  50. Farayi Chikoore Says:

    Please could you cancel my Hi5 account it is causing all sorts of problems with my Fiancee! so please will you help!

  51. cjohnson Says:

    OH GOD HOW DID I GET HERE I AM NOT GOOD WITH THE COMPUTER

  52. alana carney laney Says:

    I would like to be removed from google account and blog account please help me with this for I’ve fought this for at least an hour to get some response.

  53. dr.smith Says:

    sorry but i am really really a girl i am 14 years old it was a mistake that i signed male instead of female please delete my hi5 account.my name is raniquw deadra carroll. it will be very helpfull if you delete my account off hi5.thank you very much.sir/madam.

  54. ranique Says:

    my name is ranique

  55. ranique Says:

    sorry about puttin your name there.

  56. jant Says:

    Hello soyd and peru porafavor ayudenme with my slope of hi5 watching them explain myself one tube of hi5 yagiu2_cc@hotmail.com and a friend of mine hit a code frompage yy is returned blank and canceled and now I want to recover and create another this equals with the same e-mail q ago to regain my hi5 previous ayudenme am very sad porfabor want much graias ayudenme.

  57. janathan coulton Says:

    pls cancl my yahoo id thanks joe6680paninsoro@yahoo.com pls

  58. EDWARD KRINER Says:

    SIR, HE’S GOT SOME POINT’S! I’VE BEEN TRYING TO CANAEL MY ACCT. FOR ALMOST A YEAR! ALL I WANT IS A CANCELATION NUMBERANDIT’LL BE OVER! DONT YOU PEOPLE LET SOMEONE GO WHEN THEY WANT TO? THIS IS STILL AMERICA ISNT IT? CANCEL ME NOW! AND SEND ME A CANCELATION NO. NOW! EDWARD L. KRINER

  59. c8fa6497993c Says:

    c8fa6497993c…

    c8fa6497993cede5d9ad…

  60. bilkis bordie Says:

    please kindly cancelled my account

  61. bilkis bordie Says:

    ok please cancelled my account right away

  62. William Johnson Says:

    I want to cancel my Google account. All I wanted from them was their Autofill feature. Somehow I got into iGoogle by mistake. I am so confused with everything I just want out. PERIOD. I may come back later for their Autofill feature, but for now get me out of my misery. JUST DO IT NOW!

  63. Darlene Grafton Says:

    just cancel this account

  64. miriam Says:

    PLEASE CANCEL MY ACCOUNT

  65. miriam Says:

    CANCEL MY ACCOUNT

  66. myra Says:

    I did not ask for a google account I dont know how it got on my computer i WISH TO CANCEL NOW.

  67. myra Hutton Says:

    CVancel now please.

  68. myra Hutton Says:

    cancel NOW PLEASE

  69. juliana alcala Says:

    please cancel my account now.!!!!!!!!!!!

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