Jonathan Coulton

That’s not what it sounds like. My pal John Hodgman’s list of 700 hobo names has been boing boinged just in time, as his book is for sale starting today. Not to bore you because I know I’ve mentioned this here before, but it’s called The Areas of My Expertise and it will break your brain. I am currently writing a song about lobsters to complement a reading from this book – the old furry kind of lobster, which you may not be that familiar with.

I’m having trouble keeping up with all the comments and emails, so I apologize if you feel like you’re not getting any love. Rest assured, I love you very much. Let me try to address a few things here all at once:

1. I do have a child. A baby girl child. All donations go directly to her (after passing through my crack habit).
2. Some reports from people having trouble with a few of the mp3s on the songs page. I think this has been corrected, but please let me know if you are unable to hear or download any of them.
3. The Shop Vac solo’s up. It’s official, Vincent is the winning solo. As for posting the other versions, I’ll have to give it some thought – doesn’t that undermine Vincent’s glorious triumph?
4. Karaoke versions – I think this is a great idea, and when I have time I will set up a section of songs without vocals so you all can impress your friends the way I have impressed mine.
5. Lyrics for Thing a Week songs are on their way. This is just another thing on my list that I haven’t gotten to, but I’m working on it.
6. My album “Jonathan Coulton Sings Songs by Black People” was a joke. I was attempting to underscore the ridiculous fact that here it is 2005 and white people like me still can’t stop themselves stealing from black culture. I was only kidding, but so many people seem to think it’s such a good idea that I may have to actually do it. Stay tuned…

And now some funny things:

My Ikea lyrics have been quoted in the Oregonian in an article about Ikea. They think I’m a real musician!

Through a trackback on one of my posts I found this great Fountains of Wayne sendup called Fountains of Wayne Hotline by musician Robbie Fulks.

And I can’t forget the most important thing: I’ve been Wil Wheatoned! Screw you Slashdot.

As you may have gathered from all the songs about math and squids and cyborgs, I’m not much of a sports guy. But even a Frito-eating benchwarmer like me feels a little tingle in the ol’ rosin bag when I think about the possibility that this may be the year the White Sox finally break the curse. Of course you all remember the Black Sox scandal of 1919 in which “Shoeless” Joe Jackson and his band of player-haters got caught throwing the world series and were imprisoned in the Phantom Zone by none other than commissioner of baseball Kenesaw Mountain Landis. Since that dark day, the White Sox have never won the world series. Or something. Actually, I’m not too clear on the facts because I tend to skim when I read, and I haven’t really read much about this anyway. Still, in case you missed it the first time around, here is my song about that very subject: Kenesaw Mountain Landis. Devoted fans please note this is not a new song, it is just newly apropos, and I post it here just so the other kids can catch up.

Whoo boy, rough week. That’s why this is getting posted at 7:30 PM – but I will point out: it is still Friday. This one comes from a verse that’s been floating around in my head for about 10 years. I think that originally it came from an argument with some girl about something, but I can’t remember anymore. I can still find the disdain in my heart though, that hasn’t left me. The amazing Cynthia Hopkins stuff on Wednesday night inspired me to dust off the old accordion and give it a whirl. Man that thing is hard to play. But that’s what Thing a Week is about. Dusting off old accordions. Hard to play. Rough weeks.

Here is the song: link

Following up with the Shop Vac solo contest, it looks like Vincent’s sweet guitar solo is the winner. Tomorrow I’ll swap out the mp3 that’s there with a new one that has Vincent’s solo in it, and we will both make a million dollars. Thanks again to everyone who submitted, I hope you had as much fun as I did. As I say, I’m very glad it was not me who had to choose.

Man, this weeks has kicked my ass. Don’t know how I can possibly be so busy when I don’t have a job. Working on this week’s thing, really just got started on it yesterday afternoon. It will probably be a few more hours, and it will not be as good as I want it to be. But I must get it posted today, otherwise I’m going to have to fire myself.

Until then, please enjoy this video of two chinese guys lip syncing to Back Street Boys. I can’t put my finger on why they are so awesome, I just know that they are. link